Stella's Girl
by BeTheDream
Summary: Stella Bonasera's relatively routine life is turned upside down with the surprise appearance of a young Madeline Lane. Stella will do anything to protect her girl. LAST CHAPTER UP!
1. Chapter 1

_**First ever FanFic - reviews would be greatly appreciated.**_

_**Disclaimer - I do not own anything. CSI: New York and the characters belong to CBS**_

_**Chapter One**_

Stella Bonasera was always at the top of her game. When she worked on a case, that was it, she was always focused. Everyone knew that and they respected her for it. So whenever she did become distracted, the whole office noticed it.

Don Flack first noticed it on a typical Thursday morning. They had just returned from a crime scene together, and he had seen how she seemed to panic every time her phone had rung. First she would pretend she hadn't heard it, then she would check the screen, click ignore and carry on with whatever she was doing.

"Someone is lying. Right now, it looks like he'd have had to be in two..." Stella's phone rang, she paused to check it. Flack looked at her, her brow was furrowed and she was staring intently at the phone screen.

"Stell?" he said, nudging her elbow.

"Um, yeah. What...what was I saying?" Stella rubbed her forehead and shoved the phone back into her blazer pocket.

"Two places at once." Flack reminded her.

"Oh, of course, two places at once. I need to go; I'll talk to you later."

Quickly she walked towards the bathrooms and disappeared inside. Flack was left standing there, wondering what was going on. He walked into one of the labs, where Sheldon was working hard.

"Have you spoken to Stella this morning? Something's bothering her. I can't work it out." Flack asked, leaning against the table.

"Yeah, she came in to pick up some paperwork, she was right in the middle of talking then her phone beeped and she ran off."

In the bathroom, Stella struggled to control her breath. She leant over the sink and splashed cold water on her face. The past was about to mix with the present. Her personal life was about to affect work. This could not be happening. Her phone, which was lying next to the sink, began to ring. The name flashed across the screen and her heart dropped into her stomach.

"Well." She thought. "I can't avoid this forever."

"Detective Bonasera." She knew it was far too formal, but it had become a habit.

"Stella, she wants to come and see you." Spoke to voice on the other end of the phone.

"I guessed you were going to say that. What am I supposed to do?" Stella replied, panicking.

"She's pretty determined to find you, love, whether you want to see her or not. She's 18, we can't actually stop her. She has it in her head that she's flying to New York on Saturday."

"This Saturday? Are you serious? And it's not that I don't want to see her, I wish I could see her every day. But 18 years is a long time to not see someone."

"Yes, she's got enough for plane tickets too. Shall we tell her that it's okay? Not that it will make much difference."

"Ah, yeah okay. I guess. If she does book flights, tell me the details, I'll give her the money for the tickets. I can pick her up from the airport."

"Stella, are you sure? I know it's a lot to deal with, but she's desperate."

"Yes, it's fine, really. After all, she is my daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

Stella clicked the phone shut, just as Lindsay walked into the bathroom.

"Stell? Flack said you were acting strange, is everything okay?" Lindsay asked. Stella could hear the tone of concern in her friend's voice.

"Fine, everything's fine." She replied with what she hoped was a convincing smile. "I'll see you later, okay." And with that she walked out of the room.

Later that day, a text came through on Stella's phone.

"She said her plane gets in at half 1 on Friday, so if you can, meet her at the airport at 2. She said thank you, but don't worry about the money."

It was Thursday today, so she didn't have long to get ready. It was too late notice to take a week off work, but she could talk to Mac and see what time she could get off. Her stomach filled with butterflies. There wasn't space for an 18 year old in her apartment. She walked into her office and sat down at her desk, resting her head in her hands.

An over-whelming feeling of guilt hit her. The last time Stella had actually seen her daughter was when she was 4 years old. Their relationship wasn't great. Every year Stella would send birthday and Christmas cards and presents. She'd send emails and letters in the months between but they were very rarely answered.

While Stella was still the girl's mother, it was the baby's father's parents that had raised her. Stella was 18 and on an exchange programme in England, living in a hostel there for 3 months. She met Cameron in a local store in the first few days. It was a whirlwind romance. They went on a few dates, and then they'd spent the night together. Halfway through her trip, she realised her period was late and a pregnancy test confirmed her worst fears. After talking to Cameron and his parents, they all decided that the best thing to do would be to let Cameron's parent's be the child's guardians.

When Stella had the baby, a little girl, she was handed over to her new guardians almost straight away. As soon as Stella was free to leave, she flew back to New York and so it had stayed that way. Stella still spoke to Cameron when necessary, but it was rare and they only ever spoke about their daughter. Stella did her best to keep her distance. It was extremely difficult but she knew it was for the best.

Stella's thoughts were interrupted when Mac Taylor walked into her office.

"Stella, what are you doing?" Mac questioned, looking down at Stella, who was now lying with her head on the desk.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, startled.

"Sleeping on the job?" He said with a smile.

"Oh no, of course not. Listen, Mac, I need a favour." She said, rising from her desk.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I have a, uh, unexpected visitor coming tomorrow, is there any chance I can get the rest of the day off to get everything ready?"

"Yeah, no problem, do you need to take tomorrow off too?"

"Not the whole day, I need to be at the airport at 2. It won't take long; I'll leave at 1:15."

"Stella, after everything you do for us you can take the whole week off if you need too."

"No. No way. I need to be working."

"Well, if you're sure." Mac answered, turning his back on Stella and leaving the room.

Stella resumed her position and laid her head back onto the desk.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of the show CSI: New York_**

_**Chapter Three**_

Back at her apartment, Stella rushed around tidying. She was hardly ever home, and when she was home, she didn't want to spend her time cleaning. Her apartment only had one bedroom, but her sofa pulled out into a double bed. It didn't seem like a good place for a child to be.

"Of course, she's not a child anymore, she's an adult." Stella reminded herself, picking up another shirt off the floor.

Stella had somehow managed to clean the whole apartment in less than 3 hours. After a quick survey of the kitchen, she realised that she'd probably need to get groceries. She grabbed her car keys, and headed out to the store.

As she walked up and down the aisles, Stella couldn't help but stare at every mother and daughter that walked past her. She saw a woman holding a newborn to her a chest, a woman and a toddler who was crying over a dropped teddy, and a woman arguing with a teenage girl over a failed test. Seeing all these women with their children made her heart ache.

Stella thought about her daughter every day, but it wasn't until now, a day away from seeing her, that she actually began to think of what she had missed. First steps, first words, first day of school, everything had just flown past her. Every important milestone that her daughter crossed, Stella only ever heard about.

She pushed her shopping cart, now filled with food, towards the till. As she opened her purse to pay, her eyes drifted to the first ever picture of her daughter. Stella had kept it in her purse ever since the day the picture was taken, and when anyone asked who it was, she always told them it was 'just a cousin'.

With all the shopping and cleaning done, Stella headed back to the office. She felt far too restless sitting at home.

They day flew by quickly after that and by the time she crawled into bed that night, she had almost forgotten about the impending visit. As the darkness over took her and her eyes became heavy she dropped into a deep sleep.

All through the night she dreamed of her little girl. It was like she was seeing her from a distance, watching through a window. She was always there but never near enough to hold.

A loud beeping noise tore her from her dream. Stella yawned and stretched out her arm towards the alarm clock, switching it off. Silence engulfed the room again. Kicking back the bed covers, she stumbled towards the bathroom.

It usually didn't take her too long to get ready, but today she spent a considerable amount of her morning make sure she looked perfect. It was the nerves making her worry. She vacuumed the apartment again before she left. A quick look at her watch told her that she didn't have enough to eat breakfast; she grabbed her purse off of the kitchen table and bolted towards the door.

Walking into the office, Stella nearly tripped over Lindsay in her attempt to not be late.

"Woah, where's the fire?" Lindsay giggled, grabbing hold of Stella's arm.

"Sorry Lindsay, I'm just, this morning's been kinda crazy. This whole day is kinda crazy." Stella sighed as she shrugged her shoulders, knocking away Lindsay's hand.

"Yeah, Mac said you had some mystery guest coming this afternoon. So, who is it?" Lindsay inquired, but Stella had already walked off, leaving Lindsay standing in the reception.

All morning, Stella struggled to concentrate on her work. She checked her watch every 5 minutes, and spent a lot of time pacing up and down the office. A feeling in her stomach told her something was going to go wrong today. It was only 12 o'clock she still had over an hour until she had to leave.

Meanwhile, in the office reception, a young girl walked up to the front desk.

"Hi" she spoke in a British accent. "Does Stella Bonasera work here?"

Just as she asked her question, Mac Taylor walked passed.

"Hey, yeah, Stella works here; can I help you with something?"

"Is it possible to speak to her?"

"Well, she's working, but I'll see what I can do." Mac replied, he looked the girl up and down. There was something strangely familiar about her. Was this Stella's mystery guest, a sister, perhaps?

Mac pulled out is cell phone, and dialled Stella's number.

"Hey, Mac" said the voice on the phone.

"Stell, where are you?"

"I'm in my office, why?"

"There's someone down here to see you."

"Okay, I'll be right there." She replied, hanging up her phone and taking another glance at her watch. Hopefully this wouldn't take too long.

As the elevator doors opened, she saw Mac and the back of the young girl he was talking too. Her heart stopped. The girl had curly dark hair all the way down her back. Her skin was a light olive colour. She was small and delicate. Stella looked up just as Mac saw her. He narrowed his eyes and pointed towards her. The young girl turned around.

"Madeline." Stella gasped.

"Hi, mum." The girl said with a little smile.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of the characters.**_

**I just want to thank you all for the nice reviews on the story! I'm not sure how long this story will go on for but I have a few idea's for it!**

**Don't forget, if you read it - review it! Becky xo**

_**Chapter Four**_

For a few seconds, they just stood there, staring at each other. Mac was standing behind Madeline looking directly at Stella, but he couldn't catch her eye. Lindsay was the first to come out into the lobby, she then gestured to Danny who got everyone to come out into the lobby.

Seconds turned into minutes, and they felt like the longest minutes of Stella's life. She knew everyone was watching, but she was frozen. Madeline's eyes started to tear up. Stella took the first step and walked towards her daughter. She felt like she could breathe again.

Stella pulled her daughter into her chest and held her tight. Madeline wrapped her arms round her mother's back. They both stood there, holding each other and sobbing. Stella felt a rush of maternal love, something she hadn't felt in a long time. She was overcome with the urge to protect her daughter. She hugged her tighter; she didn't want to let her go.

Madeline was the first to drop her arms; she pulled away from Stella and wiped her eyes.

"Okay" said Stella, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Let me see you, properly."

Madeline took a step backwards. She felt incredibly uncomfortable with everyone staring at her.

"You're beautiful." Stella whispered, smiling, the tears welling up again.

Madeline laughed and hugged her mother.

"Thanks." She said shyly.

Stella looked carefully at her daughter. They had the same eyes and hair. She also had Stella's cheekbones. Madeline was wearing a pink floral top tucked into short high-waist denim shorts, with grey ankle boots. Her hair was down, hanging just below her rib cage and dark and curly. She had feather earrings and a small gold stud in her nose.

Madeline pulled at the ends of her hair. She looked over her mother, her biological mother. Not the mother who had raised, the one who had been there to teach her how to walk, who had spent hours making costumes for the school plays, who held her when her boyfriend cheated on her. Stella was never there. Madeline had always known that her mother had given her up when she was a baby. It didn't bother her until the past few months. She just wanted to know why. Why had Stella kept so much distance?

Stella glanced around at her colleagues; they all looked as surprised as each other. Once she had gotten over the initial shock of seeing Madeline standing there, Stella's brain quickly switched from 'mother' to 'detective'. Madeline wasn't supposed to be here for another hour. Either there was a huge miscommunication along the line, or someone wasn't telling the truth.

"Madeline, why are you here?" Stella asked, breaking the silence.

"Why, don't you want me here?" Madeline replied, starting to get defensive. Seeing Stella had made her strangely angry and abandoned. It felt like she was going to explode with emotion.

"No, no of course not! I'm so happy to see you! It's just that you weren't supposed to be here for another hour?"

"So I may have got my timings a little bit wrong, it's no big deal." She shrugged.

"Yes, actually, it is a big deal! It's not safe for you to be going round on your own, in a city you don't know!" Stella felt her voice begin to rise; she concentrated hard to control it.

"Oh, so now you're going to be a mother." Madeline shouted, dropping her arms down by her sides.

Everyone saw the look on Stella's face. It was a very familiar look, usually seen when she was interrogating suspects. Quickly, they all scuttled back to their various offices and lab's, everyone expect for Mac who jumped in before it got ugly.

"Madeline..." he started, taking a step forward, but Stella interrupted him.

"No, Mac don't. It's okay. She's right." Stella sighed, holding her hand against her furrowed brow.

"I came early because I didn't think you would show up. I thought you'd try and keep me a secret. I wanted to surprise you, to see if you really actually wanted me here." Madeline yelled; the tears were now streaming down her face.

"Madeline, I did what I thought was best. We all agreed that I would stay away, for your sake. I wanted you to grow up in a stable home, with parent's who could be there for you every step of the way. It wasn't because I didn't want you!" Stella yelled back.

"Okay, both of you, into my office. You can scream and shout all you want in there, but not out here." Mac raised his voice, gesturing for Madeline to walk forwards.

He put his hand on Stella's lower back and started walking her towards his office.

"I'm so sorry Mac." She muttered in his ear.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of the characters!**_

_**Chapter Five**_

Madeline walked through to Mac's office; everyone she passed either stared or took a double glance, depending on whether or not they'd witnessed the scene in the lobby.

Mac opened up the door to his office, and held it open as Madeline and Stella walked in. Stella stood next to Mac's desk; Madeline hovered awkwardly by the door.

"Sit." Mac ordered, making them both jump.

Madeline's eyes flickered towards Stella, who simply shrugged her shoulders and gestured towards the chair. She dumped her bag on the floor and sat down in the chair, a little harder than necessary. Stella leant against the filing cabinet, holding her head up with her hand.

"Was that really the best way to start off, young lady?" Mac said sternly as he sat down in his own chair.

"No." Madeline muttered, staring down at the floor.

"I understand that you're upset but you cannot speak to people like that, especially not your mother, who has only ever had your best interest at heart." Mac spoke, gesturing in Stella's direction.

"You can't tell me what to do. Neither of you can. It's not like you're my parents!" Madeline shouted.

That comment stung Stella; she walked away from the filing cabinet and stood by the window. She didn't dare turn around to look at her daughter. She was right of course. Stella hadn't been a parent, not really, but deep down she knew that what she had done was the right thing. Madeline had a much better life in England than she ever would have done staying with Stella.

"No, you're right. We're not your parents. But I am your mother. And despite what you think I care very much about you. When you said you'd been going round the city on your own, I panicked! Every single day we have to deal with murderers and rapists, and the victims of their crimes, often young girls just like you. I love you too much to risk anything like that happen to you!" Stella shouted through her tears.

"If you loved me you would have been there for me, instead of just sending cards and letters! If you loved me you would've stayed with me, instead of acting like I didn't even exist!" Madeline shouted back, jumping out of her seat.

"I can't do this Mac." Stella shouted and she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Stella!" Mac called after. He jumped up out of his chair and ran towards the door.

He was too late though, she had already marched into the bathroom.

"Lindsay!" Mac shouted down the hallway.

Lindsay popped her head round the lab door.

"What's up Mac?" She asked, although she could almost guess.

"Stella. She's gone into the ladies room. Can you go check on her?"

"Absolutely" Lindsay nodded as she walked towards the bathroom

When Lindsay passed Mac's office, she looked in to see Mac and the young girl sitting at Mac's desk. Mac looked angry; he was talking to the girl. She couldn't quite work out what he was saying.

Lindsay knocked on the door; she could hear the faint sound of Stella crying in the bathroom.

"Stella?"

Lindsay pushed open the door. Stella was sitting on the edge of one of the sinks, leaning against the mirrors. This was the first time Lindsay had ever seen Stella cry, and she was really crying. She sounded breathless like the tears were hurting her.

"Oh, Stella." Lindsay sighed with her voice filled with concern.

"She is absolutely right, everything she said is right. I'm horrible person. I should've been there, Lindsay! But I wasn't, I was never there! I have no right to act like her mother now." Stella yelled. She breathed in deeply and pulled her knees into her chest.

Lindsay hoisted herself up onto the counter and sat next to Stella. She stretched her arm round her friend's shoulder and pulled her into a hug. Lindsay could feel Stella's hold body shaking with the effort of crying. It was distressing to see her in such a state.

"Stella, she can't see it now but one day she will. She will see that what you did for her was the hardest thing you've ever done and she will see that it was all in her best interest." Lindsay said, trying her best to comfort her friend. Lindsay held Stella

Back in Mac's office, Madeline sat staring at her lap. She felt awful. She really hadn't meant to make Stella cry like that. She was just feeling angry and confused.

"I'm sorry." Madeline whispered.

"It's not me you need to be apologising too." Mac replied. "I've known your mom for a long, long time and I never seen her react like that to anyone or anything. It's her you need to apologise to."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! So I have a few possible endings planned for this story, but it all depends on you! A couple of the idea's would end the story completely, another would allow me to write a sequel. What do you all think? Would you be interested in a sequel? Please let me know!**

**Becky x**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Six**_

Stella's breathing had steadied and the tears had stopped. She dropped down off of the counter and looked in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red, and there was mascara running all down her face.

"Here, you look a mess." Lindsay laughed, passing Stella some tissue.

Stella turned on the tap and splashed the cold water on her face; she used the tissue to wipe away the entire make-up residue.

"She looks a lot like you, you know. She's beautiful." Lindsay said.

"Thank you." Stella wiped away more of the make-up and laughed. "She's the single greatest thing I've ever done in my life and I barely even know her. Lindsay, I did the right thing, didn't I?"

"Stella, if I've learnt anything about you, it's that your judgements are never wrong." Lindsay rested her hand on Stella's shoulder.

"Thanks Lindsay, for everything." Stella replied, holding on to Lindsay's hand. Stella really appreciated the support from her friend; it almost made her want to cry again.

Just then there was a light knock on the door and it was pushed open. Madeline poked her pretty little face round the door. Lindsay smiled and winked at Stella, she gave her a hug. Madeline slid round the side of the door as Lindsay pulled it open for her, she gave her a little smile and let the door shut.

Madeline and Stella looked at each other.

"I'm really, really sorry." Madeline said quietly.

Stella sighed "It's okay. I know I have a lot of explaining to do, and I know I have a lot to make up to you. I'm sorry Madeline."

"No, you don't need to make anything up to me. I was just angry, you've got this great life here in New York City with a fancy apartment and a cool job and I live in a small suburb in England. Whenever people ask about my mum, I never know what to say! "

"It's complicated, I know it is. But I...how did you know where I live?"

"Oh, mum gave me the..." Madeline's voice trailed off after she realised she just called someone else 'mom' in front of her actual mother.

"Madeline, it's okay, I guess she is your mother. Just call me whatever you feel comfortable with. I won't be offended if you call me Stella. I promise." She said, giving her daughter a hug.

"So, you were saying?"

"Anyway, I got the address and I took a taxi there and gave my suitcase to the doorman there. He said you can get it later. Then I came here." Madeline's lip started to tremble. "And then I was a horrible person and made you cry!"

Madeline burst into tears again. Seeing her daughter so upset made Stella want to cry again, but she didn't, she needed to be the adult here.

"Hey, come on, don't start that again." Stella comforted, pulling Madeline into another hug. She ran her fingers through her curls and kissed her on the top of her head.  
>"Now, I may not have been there when you needed me, but I'm here now. And I promise that I will be there from here on in."<p>

Stella kissed her daughter again on her forehead.

"I do love you. I'm going to take the rest of the day off work, and I'm going to take you out. But first we are going home, and you are going to change." Stella grinned, dropping her arms and looking at her daughter.

"Why do I need to change?" Madeline asked, looking confused.

"Those shorts are way too short. And I can see right through your shirt. C'mon, I want to introduce you to everyone before we go." Stella laughed as she pulled open the bathroom door and guided her daughter out.

Stella and Madeline walked through the office with their arms linked. She was introduced to everyone. As they stood in one of the labs talking to Danny and Lindsay, Stella glanced over her shoulder and saw Mac standing in his office. He caught her eye and gestured for her to come into his office.

"Uh...Danny, I just need to talk to Mac, keep her busy will you?" Stella smiled, winking at her daughter.

As she walked out the door, Stella could hear Danny start talking about music or something. Stella looked at Mac, he looked disappointed. She pushed open his office door, her stomach sinking a little as he looked up at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He said, staring deep into her eyes.

It took her by surprise. Stella struggled to look at him.

"I didn't want anyone to know Mac. Talking about her makes me miss her and if I think about her too much I won't be able to stay away. That was the deal. I had to keep my distance, I promised I would, otherwise her life would have been so much more complicated than it needed to be."

"I could've been there for you Stell, I could've helped you." He smiled, walking over to her.

"I know that, I do. I am sorry that it all came out like this Mac. I would've told you, it's just Madeline and I's relationship is so rocky, and I didn't want you to think badly of me for not being there."

"Stella, I would never, ever do anything like that." Mac said, he placed his hand on Stella's shoulder.

Stella smiled and hugged Mac.

"Thank you. Now, if it's okay with you, I'm going to take my daughter out!"

"Go ahead. I'll call you if we really need you."

"Thanks Mac." Stella smiled and hugged Mac again.

Stella walked out of Mac's office and went back to collect Madeline. She walked in half way through Danny and Madeline's conversation.

"Yeah, and his fingers were just crunched into little stubs. It was gross." Danny looked up and saw Stella standing there frowning, "And your mom took one of the fingers home in a jar, as a souvenir you know." Danny winked at Stella and laughed.

"Okay Danny, have you traumatised my daughter enough for one day?" Stella asked. Her arms were folded and her left eyebrow was raised.

Madeline, who was leaning on one of the tables, turned around. She looked slightly pale and her mouth was hanging open.

"Did you really keep a finger?" Madeline asked, completely shocked.

Stella tapped Danny on the back of the head.

"C'mon, let's go before he gives you any crazy ideas."

"Bye, Danny." Madeline smiled, as she followed her mother out the room.

They walked together into the lobby.

"You ready to go kiddo?"

"Yeah, let's go. Stella, is Mac your boyfriend?"

"Oh no, definitely not. He's a very dear friend, and my boss! Right, let's go back to mine so you can change."

Madeline linked her arm round Stella's. It was a small action, but it made Stella's heart swell with love.

"So," said Stella. "Fill me in on everything."

Madeline grinned "Where do I start?"


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sorry for the late update! I haven't been able to get on the internet to update, and it might be like that for a while so bare with me.**_

_**Becky x**_

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Seven**_

Stella and Madeline spent all weekend catching up on the past 18 years – after all, there's only so much you can say in a card. On Friday evening, Stella took Madeline out for dinner. That night, Stella learnt that Madeline loves to draw, her favourite food is grilled chicken and she hopes to train as a school teacher. On Saturday, Stella took Madeline sightseeing. This included all the typical New York sights, as well as the sights that were personal to Stella, like the street she made her first arrest.

It was Sunday night, Stella and Madeline had spent all weekend in their pyjama's watching movies on the sofa and eating junk food. Stella was sat upright and Madeline was lying down, with her head resting in Stella's lap.

Stella looked down at her daughter and smiled, she ran her fingers through Madeline's hair.

"Do you have to go to work tomorrow?" Madeline asked, turning onto her back so she could look up at her mother.

Stella placed her cool hands on her daughter's forehead and pushed the hair out of her face.

"I'm afraid so. I can meet you for lunch, and I'll do my best to get off early." Stella sighed.

"So what exactly am I supposed to do?" Madeline asked, frowning. Stella patted her daughter's forehead, as if she was straightening out the frown lines.

"Well, you can spend the day here or you can maybe go out for the day? Do you want me to book something, a show or something?"

"Can't I come with you?"

"Uh, no, I don't think that's a great idea. I have to work." Stella said. As soon as she said it, she could feel Madeline's body stiffen up.

Madeline sat up right. She looked at her mother.

"You don't want me there do you?" Madeline asked, looking her mother dead in the eyes.

"What? Madeline, don't be ridiculous. I have to work, I have a job, and I have responsibilities." Stella replied. She was starting to get agitated, and apparently so was Madeline.

"It's not like you've never ignored one of your responsibilities before." Madeline practically whispered. She crossed her arms and looked away from Stella.

The comment felt like a slap across the face to Stella.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Stella asked, though she already knew.

"It means you left me. Whether you did it for my sake or for yours, you still left me. And I'm bloody tired of being left!" Madeline was nearing hysterics as she shouted out the last sentence.

Madeline ran out of the room in tears, she slammed the front room door shut and went into the bathroom. She slid down onto the floor and rested her head on the edge of the bathtub.

"Oh my God." Stella said. She leant forward and held her head up with her hands.

Every part of Stella wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream and shout at Madeline, but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do it; right now Madeline needed sympathy, attention and love.

Stella pushed herself up off the couch and walked to the bathroom. She knocked on the bathroom door.

"Madeline, honey, can I come in?" Stella asked, though she pushed the door open anyway.

Madeline had her knees pressed up against her chest. She was crying quietly, sniffling every few seconds. Stella walked the few steps over to her and sat down by her daughter. She reached her arm around Madeline and pulled her closer. Stella had worked in the NYPD for long enough to realise that something was bothering Madeline and it wasn't just the fact Stella hadn't been there.

"Now, I know I left you, but that's not what's bothering you, is it?" Stella asked her quietly sobbing daughter. Madeline sniffed but didn't say a word. Stella leaned forward and ripped off a few pieces of tissue, she dabbed at Madeline's cheeks, wiping away the tears.

Madeline said nothing; she just lay still with her head on her mother's chest.

"Is it your parents?"

Madeline shook her head.

"Is it school?"

Madeline shook her head.

Uh...friends?"

Madeline shook her head.

"Well, that only leaves one option - boys."

Madeline burst into tears again. It wasn't exactly a yes, but it was close enough.

"So" Stella thought to herself "That answers that question."

Stella could feel Madeline's tears dampening her shirt. She must be really torn up about this. Stella sat and held Madeline, both of them in silence.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Stella asked, as she kissed the top of Madeline's head.

Madeline continued to sob. Stella looked at her watch, it was 10:50pm, and she grabbed some more tissue and handed it to Madeline.

"It's nearly 11, c'mon, let's get you ready for bed, you need a good night's sleep and we can talk in the morning."

Stella helped Madeline get off the floor; she washed her face for her and brushed her hair. Stella held Madeline's hand as she walked her to her bedroom. Madeline climbed into Stella's bed and curled up into a little ball. Stella pulled the covers up over Madeline and tucked her in. She kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave the room.

"I love you mum." Madeline whispered from the darkness.

"I love you too Madeline." Stella whispered back, her voice choking on her tears.


	8. Chapter 8

**Please R&R! The reviews are really helpful when I'm trying to write!**

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of the characters.**_

_**Chapter Eight **_

Stella closed the door to her room, and wiped the corners of her eyes. She walked into the front room and flopped down onto the sofa. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialled in Mac's number. The phone rang a few times before Mac finally answered.

"Hey, Mac." Stella said.

"Stella, is everything okay?" Mac asked. She could hear the concern in his voice.

"I don't have a teenage daughter, I have an emotional wreck. I don't know where it's coming from and I don't know how to make it stop." Stella whined down the phone. She heard Mac chuckle on the other end of the line.

"It's not funny Mac." She tried to protest but she, too, started laughing.

"I'm sorry, Stell. It's just I've seen you take down serial killers and you're struggling to control a crying 18 year old girl?" He laughed again.

"Something is wrong with her, something has happened to make her this way. I've never seen a person act like this Mac, it's freaking me out. I don't know, maybe its maternal instinct" Stella tried to keep her voice calm but it was starting to get pitchy.

"This may be an obvious question, but have you actually asked her what's wrong?" Mac questioned.

Stella sighed.

"Yes Mac, and do you think that did any good? All I got out of her was a rush of tears when I mentioned the word 'boys'. That was it."

"A break-up maybe?" he suggested.

"I thought that too, but something is telling it's more serious than just a break-up." Stella was frowning, even though Mac couldn't see her.

"You want me to arrest and interrogate her?" Mac laughed down the phone.

"You're very funny, Mac. Listen, do you think I could come in a little later tomorrow? I wouldn't normally ask but..." Stella started before Mac cut her off.

"Stella, I told you, you can have the whole week off if you want." He interjected.

"No, I really don't want the whole week off. Just promise you'll call me if you really need me?"

"Of course" Mac said.

"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Night Mac."

"Good night, Stella." Mac replied, and he hung up the phone.

Stella took a deep breath and got up off the sofa. As she walked into the kitchen, she could her Madeline crying quietly and every few seconds she would sniff and take a deep breath. Stella got herself a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table. A million thoughts ran through her head. Was Madeline running away from someone, is that why she had come all the way to New York? Stella looked at her watch, it was quarter to midnight.

Tomorrow was going to be difficult. She had to find out what was wrong with Madeline. The worry of it all was driving Stella crazy. Stella thought back to when Madeline was a baby, and when she agreed to keep her distance. It made her think about everything that had happened to Madeline. If Stella had been in regular contact with her daughter, if she had known about every up and down she had ever had, the worry of not being there to help would've driven her to the brink of madness. She wouldn't have been able to concentrate on work, she would always been distracted by worry.

She finished her drink and got ready for bed. Inside her room she could hear Madeline, still sniffling. Stella opened the bedroom door. The soft light that shone in to the room lit up Madeline's face. Her eyes were still red and puffy but she had stopped crying. She had tissue scrunched up in her hands and the top of an old teddy bear was poking up out of the bed covers.

Stella smiled and walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Mum?" Madeline whispered.

"Yes sweetheart?" Stella replied quietly.

"Thank you."

Stella pulled back the bed covers and climbed in next to her daughter. Madeline rolled over and wrapped her arm across Stella's stomach. Stella picked her up and put it over Madeline's shoulder and held her tightly. Slowly, Madeline stopped sniffling and her breathing slowed down. Soon she was fast asleep. Stella looked at her now sleeping daughter and smiled. It made her think of everything she had missed. A single tear rolled down Stella's cheek and soon she, too, was asleep.

Stella didn't sleep much that night as Madeline tossed and turned for most of the night. It was like whatever was bothering her while she awake, was now creeping into her dreams. Stella spent much of the night just watching her daughter.

It has 7 o'clock when Stella's cell phone rang, waking her up. Stella groaned and rolled towards the bed side table. It was Lindsay. Stella glanced over at Madeline; she was sound asleep.

"Yes?" Stella muttered into the phone.

"Well good morning sunshine!" Lindsay laughed cheerily down the phone.

"Good morning." Stella replied through a yawn.

"I know you're not supposed to be working, but is there any chance you can get down here, even if it's for like 30 minutes, I'm on my own down here?" Lindsay pleaded.

"Ergghh." Stella grumbled. "Okay Linds. I'll get there as quick as I can. Can you text me over the address?"

"Sure thing, see you soon." Lindsay said before hanging up the phone.

Stella pulled back the covers and climbed out. She managed to get ready in less than 20 minutes. Before she left the apartment she wrote out a note for Madeline, in case she woke up.

"Madeline, don't go anywhere. I'll be back as soon as I can. Love, Stella x"

She stuck the note to the fridge door, kissed Madeline on the forehead and ran out the door. Stella jumped in her car and drove to the address Lindsay had texted her.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Nine**_

"Well this is...uh...different." Stella said when she got to the crime scene; she lifted her takeaway coffee cup to her mouth and threw back the last mouthful.

"Yeah, it's quite the wake-up call." Lindsay laughed "Sorry about this morning, I was desperate. So, how's Baby Bonasera?"

"Hmmm, that's clever. She's at home, asleep, recovering from an emotional break-down last night. Oh, to be 18 again." Stella sighed, crouching down on the ground.

"That bad, huh?" Lindsay asked, frowning slightly.

"It's just a lot to deal with. I've never seen any cry so much Linds! Everything seems fine and then suddenly it's like the world is falling around her ears and I don't know why."

Together they processed the crime scene. Stella tried to concentrate on what she was doing but her mind kept wandering back to Madeline. She was worried that Madeline would wake up and feel abandoned again. Just as she was finishing up, her phone rang.

"Bonasera" she answered.

"Where are you?" a panicked voice said on the other end of the line.

"Madeline?" Stella questioned.

"Stella, where are you?"

"Madeline, calm down. I had to go to work, I'm coming right back. I'll bring some breakfast up, okay?" Stella said, reassuring her daughter.

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too kiddo." And Stella hung up the phone.

Stella walked over to where Lindsay was standing.

"That girl will push me over the edge. If you're done with me here, I have to head off. I have a small scale nightmare tearing through my apartment."

Stella said goodbye to Lindsay and got her stuff together. On her way home she stopped by a local bakery to pick up some fresh bread, pastries and coffee. She felt an intense amount of pressure to hurry home. Stella paused for a brief moment and took a deep breath. Madeline was due to fly back to England on Friday and it was only Monday. This was going to be a long week.

Before Stella had even walked into the apartment, she could hear Madeline pacing around inside. She took another deep breath and unlocked the door. Madeline was standing in the hallway. She's gotten dressed and she was biting her nails.

"Hey, what's up honey?" Stella asked as she shut the door behind her.

"Nothing" Madeline shrugged her shoulders. "I just got worried when I woke and you'd gone. I was having a nightmare."

"Oh, we'll you're awake now." Stella smiled. She put the coffee and breakfast foods on the table and gave Madeline a hug. "Hey, can you get the plates down from the top cabinet?" Stella asked.

Stella watched as Madeline got up onto her tiptoes to reach the plates. As she stretched upwards her t-shirt lifted up, revealing her hip bones and part of her stomach. Just above the waistband of her shorts Stella noticed a strange dark shadow on each of Madeline's hips. They were bruises. Madeline put the plates down on the table and looked up to see Stella was staring at her, she was frowning slightly.

"What?" Madeline asked.

It took Stella by surprised, she'd been caught.

"Oh nothing" Stella smiled. "Madeline, do you think you could, uh, pass me a larger plate so I can lay these out?"

Madeline rolled her eyes, but walked over to the cabinet anyway. Stella watched Madeline again, this time more closely. The bruises showed again. Stella studied them. Each bruise was roughly the same size, they didn't look like handprints but they were far too symmetrical to be there by accident. Stella was left with a dilemma. She had to decide whether she would question Madeline about the bruises, or just leave her be.

For once, Stella was unsure how to go about questioning. She knew that anything she said could make Madeline flip out and then she would just shut down completely. After weighing up the pros and cons, Stella decided that she would talk to Madeline after breakfast.

Together they sat and ate breakfast quietly, only occasionally talking. Stella sipped on her coffee and tried to build up the courage to mention the bruises. She thought up a new tactic.

"Last week I worked on a case where a girl was found dead in the park, and she was completely covered in bruises and her ribs were broken. That's what killed her, a rib pierced her heart. Her boyfriend did it to her." Stella said, trying to keep her voice as casual as possible, as if she was just making conversation. She kept her eyes locked on Madeline's face, watching for her reaction.

Madeline didn't look up once, she nodded her head in the right places but she stared down at her plate. Her chewing slowed down and she shifted in her seat. Obviously this was making her uncomfortable.

"That's horrible." Madeline eventually whispered.

Stella thought she saw tears well up in Madeline's eyes, but when she blinked, they were gone. This suddenly felt like an interrogation.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Stella said. She raised an eyebrow and continued to study Madeline's behaviour.

She took another sip of coffee. "So, how'd you get the bruises?"

Madeline shifted again; Stella could almost hear Madeline's thought's turning through her head. Madeline sat up straight. The room filled with tension. Madeline pushed back her chair and stood up.

"Bruises? Which ones do you need an explanation for?" Madeline said. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"This one" she started as she took her arm out of her sleeve. "I got a month ago. I fell off a curb and landed on a rock. I keep knocking it so it won't heal properly." She pointed to a small, yellowing bruise above her elbow.

Madeline turned round and pulled up her top. Stella could see a light bruise on her ribs. "This bruise came from when I got hit with a hockey stick."

She turned back around. Stella could see a mix of anger and upset in Madeline's face. Stella began to think that she'd gone the wrong way about asking.

"And these," Madeline pulled up her shirt. "These came after I walked into the kitchen counter. Are you happy now?" Madeline shouted.

Madeline took several deep breaths, she looked like she wanted to storm out of the room, but she didn't.

"Honey I was just worried. I've seen bruises like that before and they're usually on victims! The hockey stick bruise I get, and the one from where you fell makes sense. But the one's on your hips? Madeline, they're practically identical. What happened? And this time, the truth." Stella was now shouting back.

"It was an accident Stella!" Madeline yelled.

This time she did leave. She grabbed her phone off of the table and locked herself in the bathroom. Stella took a deep breath and leant back in her chair.

"And another one bites the dust..." Stella said out loud.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey everyone, thank you for all the reviews, it means a lot!**_

_**Now, I need your help again. I have a sequel planned but I can just as easy turn it into one long story. What would you prefer? Let me know!**_

_**x**_

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or its characters.**_

_**Chapter Ten**_

The rest of the day went by without much of a problem. Madeline eventually came out of the bathroom and they both apologised to each other. Occasionally Madeline would catch Stella looking at her and she'd make sure that her shirt was pulled down so that the bruises weren't showing.

Stella couldn't stop thinking about the bruises and when they went to bed Monday night, Stella lay wide awake thinking about the marks. She couldn't shake off the feeling that they weren't there by 'accident'. She gave Madeline the benefit of the doubt over the small ones, but the big ones? There was no way they would be caused by walking into a kitchen counter.

Mac had agreed that Stella could start work later the week that Madeline was there; he figured that she would need the extra rest. When Stella woke up, it was almost 8 o'clock. Madeline was already up; Stella could hear her walking around in the living room. She could also hear voices, she was either on the phone or the TV was on. Stella listened carefully. She heard Madeline walk into the kitchen. Madeline was definitely on the phone. Stella got up and walked towards the door. She wasn't eavesdropping exactly; she was just curious. Mainly to figure out how much this call was going to cost. Madeline didn't know anyone in New York; it had to be a long distance call. She listened closely.

"No, I haven't told her. She knows something though. I left London to get away from annoying questions, not be bombarded with more!"

Stella felt her heart start to beat a little bit faster. Madeline had gone quiet. The person on the phone was talking but Stella couldn't hear them. She waited for Madeline to start talking again.

"I didn't know she was a bloody detective! No, Rosie I'm not joking. She is actually a detective; she has a badge and a gun and everything. Stella's really good at what she does. I'm in so much trouble. Jack still doesn't know where I am does he?"

There was a pause. Madeline was waiting for a reply. Stella felt shaky. What had Madeline done that had caused her to run away to New York?

"Make sure he doesn't find out. Rosie, apart from mum and dad, no-one else knows where I am. And you are the only one who knows why I'm here. Don't tell anyone, promise?"

Stella's heart was beating erratically now, it felt like her heart was bouncing up to her throat and dropping back down to her stomach.

"Okay, bye, love you too." Madeline hung up the phone.

Stella stumbled back to her bed; she sat down on the edge and tried to get her breath back. Stella hadn't been listening long but there was so much of that conversation that left her head reeling. So, Madeline had run away from something; or someone. This trip was a whole lot more than meeting Stella; it was about escaping her problems. Thinking about this made Stella feel strangely hurt. She couldn't decide whether Madeline was just using her or whether Madeline really wanted to see her. After thinking about her next step for a while, Stella decided that she would leave it for now and talk to Madeline later. In the mean time, Stella would talk to Mac about it.

Just then, Madeline opened the bedroom door and walked in. She seemed surprised to see Stella sitting up on the edge of the bed. Stella smiled and stood up.

"Morning, kiddo! Have you had breakfast yet?" Stella asked cheerily.

"Um, no not yet. Have you...uh...been up long?" Madeline asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"Nope, just got up, why?" Stella questioned, as she put her arm round Madeline's shoulder and steered her towards the kitchen.

"No reason." Madeline smiled back. "Are you not going in to work today?"

Stella grabbed a mug from the cabinet and started to make some fresh coffee.

"I will be, but not until 10:30, so I have a while yet. Is there something you wanted to talk about before I left?" Stella asked. She tried not to look at Madeline; she was hoping she could coax it out of her.

"No, I was just wondering. Is it okay if I go out while you're at work?" Madeline looked a little defensive at Stella's question, but she worked hard to maintain her composure.

"Yeah of course you can." Stella replied. Obviously she was getting nothing out of Madeline this morning. "Where are you planning on going?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll probably go shopping or something." Madeline shrugged.

"That's fine. Do you want to go out for lunch? I get an hour at around 3."

"Sure, I'll come down to your office and meet you."

"Great." Stella smiled and she left the room.

Stella got ready slowly and made her way into work. First stop was Mac's office. She needed advice on what to do about Madeline and Mac was the most level-headed person she knew.

When Stella got to Mac, he was sitting at his desk going through some paperwork. Stella knocked on the glass doors. Mac lifter his head up and gestured for her to come in.

"Hey Mac, you got a minute?" Stella said as she pushed open the door.

"For you Stella, I have plenty. Sit down. What's going on?" Mac asked; the tone of concern was already noticeable in his voice.

"I'm not really sure, I just need some advice. It's about Madeline." Stella sat down on the chair. She looked uncomfortable and she couldn't stop fidgeting.

"What did she do?" Mac asked. He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, that's thing. I don't know what she's done; or rather I don't know what's been done. Yesterday she was getting something from one of the cabinets and I noticed bruises on her hips. I asked her about them but she flew off the handle. She said she got them from 'walking into a table' but there is no way that's what happened." Stella could feel herself getting worked up.

Mac could see the panic fill her eyes, so he pushed a glass of water over towards her. She picked up the glass and took a huge gulp of the water. Her breath steadied and she carried on talking.

"And then this morning, I overheard her on the phone to someone called Rosie. She was talking about how she didn't know I was a detective, that she came here to get away, I think from someone called Jack, and she said that she hadn't told me something. She said she was in trouble. Madeline didn't realise I was awake, and when she came into my room and saw me sitting on the bed, she looked worried."

Stella grabbed the glass of water and took another drink of water. Telling all this to Mac felt like a huge weight had been lifter off her shoulders. Now she had said it out loud, it felt like she could make sense of everything. Stella looked at Mac, he had his fingertips held together, and he was looking off into the corner. He was trying to make sense of everything Stella had just spouted out.

"So you're thinking that this 'Jack' guy has something to do with the bruises on her hips. What did the bruises look like?" Mac said.

"They were pretty much identical. It didn't look like they'd been there long. They were almost round; they definitely didn't look like grab marks, which is what I first thought. I know I need to pick my battles but I can't just let this one go." Stella sighed. She leant back in her chair and let her head flop backwards.

"No, I don't expect you too. Unless she says something, we can't know for sure what's going on. Have you spoken to her parents? Maybe they can give you an idea of what's been happening."

"Not yet, but if she doesn't talk to me soon, I don't know what else I can do. Thanks, Mac." Stella hugged Mac and left his office.

Mac sat back and smiled at Stella as she walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters!**_

_**Chapter Eleven**_

When Stella came home from work Tuesday evening, she found Madeline curled up on the sofa underneath a blanket. Stella's brow furrowed with concern, Madeline had seemed fine at lunch time.

"Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" Stella asked as she kissed Madeline on the top of her head.

"I don't know. I just started feeling awful a couple of hours ago. My head hurts and I threw up after I had dinner." Madeline said.

Stella put her hand across Madeline's forehead, it felt like fire under her cool hands.

"Woah, you're burning up!" Stella exclaimed.

She ran off to the kitchen and got a glass of water, and then she went into the bathroom and got a cold flannel. She brought both things back to the living room and handed them to Madeline.

"Here, drink this and put this on your head. Do you think it was something you ate at lunch?" Stella sat down on the sofa and pulled off her shoes.

"Could be, but we had the same thing. Why aren't you ill?" Madeline asked, turning her body so that she was facing Stella.

Madeline stretched her legs out and laid them across Stella's lap.

"Hmm, could just be a bug. If you're not better by tomorrow I'll take you to the doctors." Stella replied, placing her hand on top of Madeline's.

That night Stella slept on the sofa, leaving Madeline the double bed in Stella's room. Previously they had been sharing the bed but Stella felt it was better to leave Madeline the space since she was ill. Stella heard Madeline get up a few times in the night to go the bathroom. Occasionally she would check on her but Madeline was only sick once more. After that she fell asleep and stayed asleep.

In the morning, Stella forced herself up off the sofa. She was due to start work at 9 o'clock, it was half 7 now and factoring in about half an hour for travel, she only had an hour to get ready and make sure Madeline was okay.

Stella pushed open her bedroom door. Madeline was sitting up in bed reading an old magazine. The colour was back in her face but she looked extremely tired.

"How're you feeling today?" Stella asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Not great but not as bad as yesterday. I didn't really sleep last night. My stomach and my head still hurt but I'll be okay."

"You sure you don't need to go to the doctors or anything? I can take the day off if you want me to stay home with you?"

"No it's fine, thanks anyway though." Madeline smiled. She turned away and carried on reading her magazine.

Stella got up off the edge of the bed and walked over to the wardrobe. She pulled out a pair of black trousers and a dark green shirt. She took them both to the bathroom and got changed. Just as she was about to leave the room, the door flew open, almost knocking her backwards. Madeline burst into the room and dropped down beside the toilet where she was promptly sick.

"Oh, sweetie" Madeline sighed.

She knelt down next to Madeline and pulled her hair back out of her face. She grabbed a hair tie off of the edge of the sink and tied Madeline's hair up in a ponytail. Stella stood up and walked into her bedroom, where she picked up Madeline's water bottle and brought it back into the bathroom.

Stella sat back down on the floor and handed Madeline the bottle. Madeline took a big gulp of water and spat it back out again. There were little beads of sweat on her forehead.

"Feel better now?" Stella asked as she grabbed the flannel from the sink and wiped Madeline's forehead.

"Actually, I do. I think I'm just going to shower and then go back to bed." Madeline got up off the floor and flushed the chain. She brushed her teeth and washed her hands.

Stella sat down on the edge of the bath and looked at Madeline.

"I'll call Mac; I'll stay home with you today. We'll go to the doctors this afternoon." Stella stated. She stood up and began to walk towards the door.

"No, don't. It's just a migraine, it's happened before. I'll sleep for a few hours and then I'll be fine. Promise. If I'm still ill, then you can take me to the doctors. Yes?" Madeline reasoned.

Stella looked at her for a minute. She didn't seem too worried, and if it had happened before then maybe she would be okay. Stella followed Madeline into the bedroom. Madeline climbed into the bed and Stella leant against the door frame.

"Fine, but if at any point during the day you feel even the slightest bit ill, call me. I'll come home around 1 and check on you. I'm serious Madeline; if you're ill in any way at all, you need to call me." Stella ordered.

"Yes detective." Madeline smiled and stuck her tongue out.

"You're cute." Stella smiled back. She picked a pillow up off the bedroom floor and chucked it at Madeline. "I'll see you later." She called out as she left the apartment.

The weather was pleasant so Stella decided to walk to work. On her way she thought over how her life had changed since last week. Her whole world had been turned upside down. This time last week she had been quite content living alone in New York City. She had a lovely apartment, a great group of friends and a job that she absolutely loved. Of course she had always had a daughter, but she was never a mother until a few days ago. Now she had an 18 year old who seemed to have taken over all of that.

Stella felt a stab of guilt for thinking like that. She wasn't angry at Madeline for being there; in fact, she kind of liked having her around, but to go from living alone in a quiet place to living with a hormonal young girl? It was all very intense. As Stella rounded the corner towards the office, her phone beeped in her bag. It was a text message from Madeline.

"Medical Update: Nothing happened like I said it would. I'm going to shower x'

She smiled at her phone and dropped it back into her bag.

Stella worked hard that morning. It was the first time since Madeline arrived that she was actually able to concentrate on work. Every half hour she would check her phone, but she only got one more message from Madeline that said she was going to try and sleep. Aside from that she heard nothing. Stella was sat at her desk reading over a case file when Mac walked into the room.

"You busy?" He asked, sitting down at the desk.

Stella looked up from her work and smiled.

"Well yeah, but apparently that's what I do now, forget about my responsibilities." She smiled half-heartedly.

Mac could see it in her eyes that something was bothering her. Her beautiful green eyes had sort of lost their shine.

"Paperwork can wait Stella, c'mon, I'll take you out for lunch." Mac smiled.

He left her office and walked to get his coat from his own. Stella sat back in her chair her heart sank a little. She had the feeling that was lunch was going to turn into a confessional. It was easy for Mac to read Stella, like he always knew what she was thinking, and Stella was totally aware of this. She took a deep breath and stood up. Stella put her jacket on and grabbed her bag, taking one last look at her phone.

"Stella?" Mac called out from down the hallway.

"I'll be right there!" She shouted back.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thank you for the reviews guys! It really means a lot!**_

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Twelve**_

Stella and Mac sat down at a table at the back of a small Italian restaurant. They sat in silence for a few minutes while they looked over the menu.

"Go ahead." Stella said eventually. "Say whatever's on your mind."

Mac sat back. He surveyed Stella's face, trying to work out her expression, her body language. He had so much he wanted to say to her, he just wasn't sure where to begin.

"How's Madeline?" he asked.

"Honestly? I have no idea. Right now, I know she's sick. But generally, I don't know what's going on. I have 18 years to catch up on in the space of a week. If I had stayed with her, I would be able to understand her. What if I had stayed with her Mac?"

"Stella, it's too late for 'what ifs' all we have is right now. You are the strongest person I know Stell, and if she needs you then you'll be there. You're all she needs right now." Mac put his hand on top of Stella's and squeezed it.

His hand lingered on hers for several seconds, before he picked it up and dropped it to his side. Stella looked at Mac and smiled. She was really grateful for all the support that he was giving her right now.

"Have you found out about the bruises yet?" Mac asked cautiously.

"No. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, and then when I thought about mentioning it, she was ill and i just didn't want to put more pressure on her. I will though, when the time is right. I'll ask her."

"Stella, she leaves on Friday. After that, who knows what's going to happen. It could be 18 years before you see her again."

Stella could feel her body tense up and a hard lump formed in her throat. She hadn't thought about that. Madeline may never want to see her again after this week. When she says goodbye on Friday; that could be it.

"I don't want her to go Mac." Stella whispered. A tear rolled down her cheek. "I didn't want her to go then, and I don't want her to go now."

Stella took a deep breath. She thought back to when Madeline was born. It was the best and worst day of her life. Stella was allowed to stay in the country until the baby was born, after that she had a month to fly back to the States. It was all very quick.

She went into labour early in the morning. She called Madeline's parent's who drove her, and Madeline's father, to the hospital. Stella had only been in the hospital for an hour before she was ready to push. 45 minutes later, Stella heard Madeline for the first time. A tiny Madeline was placed on Stella's chest and she got to hold her daughter. When the nurses had cleaned up, Stella was left alone with Madeline. She held on to Madeline for half an hour. Madeline slept the whole time, Stella just sat, quiet and alone, with her daughter in her arms. Over the years Stella had let herself forget the moment that Madeline was taken away from her. It was too painful to think about. The only thing she could remember was sitting alone in her hospital bed, crying hard for a long period of time. When she was eventually released from the hospital she checked into a hotel and stayed in bed for the next 48 hours. Madeline's new parents called a few times but each time Stella ignored the calls, she soon switched her phone off completely.

5 days after Madeline was born, Stella had spoken to the parents, who had agreed to pack up all of Stella's things and drop them off at the hotel. She couldn't face seeing them. Not yet anyway. A week after the birth, Stella had got her things together, booked a plane ticket and was on her way back to New York.

"I don't want to go through it again. I can't do this alone. Not again." Stella sobbed.

"You don't have to do this alone Stella. You have me." Mac passed a napkin to Stella and held her hand. Stella smiled at her friend and wiped the tears off of her face.

After eating lunch, they both parted ways. Mac headed back to the office and Stella went home to check on Madeline. She planned on going back to the office later on. On her way home, she stopped at a coffee shop and used their bathroom to freshen up. She looked in the mirror and wiped away the make-up that had run down her face. She couldn't believe how much she had cried this week. Despite all the upset and the heartache, she really didn't want Madeline to leave.

Stella let herself into her apartment. It was quiet, she guessed Madeline was sleeping, but as she passed the bathroom, she could hear a low sobbing sound. She knocked on the door.

"Madeline, sweetie, are you okay?" Stella pushed on the door but it was locked.

"I'll be out in a minute, let me brush my teeth." Madeline called out from inside. "I'm fine though. My head still hurts."

Stella leant against the door frame, waiting for Madeline to come out. She heard Madeline flush the toilet, and then she heard the buzz of Madeline's electric toothbrush, the taps running and the squeak of the towel rack moving. Then the door lock clicked open and Madeline came out of the bathroom.

Stella wrapped her arms round Madeline and kissed her forehead.

"Still not better, huh?" Stella asked, concerned.

"No not really. My whole body is aching. I just want to sleep but my head hurts so I can't." Madeline shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, well get back into bed, I'll bring you some fresh water. Still sure you don't want a doctor?"

"Maybe, but not today, all I need is to sleep properly, and for a long time. Once this headache is gone, I'll be fine."

"I'll call the doctor tonight and make the appointment for tomorrow afternoon. If you're better, I can just cancel it." Stella smiled. She pulled the bed covers over Madeline. "Now, close your eyes. Try and get some sleep."

Stella left the bedroom and closed the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She thought about how difficult Friday was going to be and about how difficult the rest of this week had been. Just before she left for work again, she stuck her head in the bedroom door to check on Madeline. She smiled at what she saw. Madeline was fast asleep, her hair curly hair was spread out all across the pillow and it looked like she was smiling. Stella tiptoed into the room and kissed Madeline goodbye. She looked so beautiful. Stella left the room and grabbed her bag from the kitchen. Then she left the apartment and headed back to work.

As Stella walked down the stairs of her apartment building, she was greeted by a smiling Lindsay, who was leaning up against the railings.

"Hey, heading back to the office?" Lindsay asked, walking over to Stella.

"Uh, yes, actually, how did you know I was here?" Stella replied, confused.

"Mac told me. He said he was worried about you. I thought I'd come down and see how you are."

"I'm actually okay." Stella replied. She ran her hands through her hair. "I just have a lot to think about. I think I want Madeline to come and live with me."

"Woah, that's a big step Stella. You sure about that?" Lindsay sounded shocked.

They both started walking back towards the office.

"It is big. I know it could be completely stupid too. She may not want to even see me again, let alone live with me. I'm just going to miss her so much. It will be like giving her away all over again." Stella sighed.

Lindsay put her arm round Stella.

"You know we're all here for you, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Thank you, Lindsay." Stella smiled

Their walking pace had slowed and they came to a stop. Stella really appreciated having a friend like Lindsay. They hugged in the middle of the street.

Back at the office, Stella was feeling good about the rest of the day. She continued to check her phone at regular intervals throughout the day but there was nothing from Madeline. Aside from calling the Doctors, Stella was able to give work her full attention.

It was 5 o'clock when Stella was finally able to leave. Just as she was about to leave her office, her cell phone started to ring. It was Madeline's parents.

"Bonasera." She said as she answered the phone.

"Hi Stella, how are you?" asked Madeline's mom.

"Hey, yeah I'm good. Is everything okay?" Stella replied.

"Everything is fine. We're just a little bit concerned about Madeline."

"Concerned? Why are you concerned?" Stella questions. She suddenly felt quite defensive.

"Well, her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, has been coming here at least twice a day ever since she left. He's really angry. He's been standing outside the house shouting and banging on the door. They were arguing a lot before she left. Has she said anything?"

"Uh no - not to me anyway, I did overhear her on the phone the other day. She was talking about someone called Jack?"

"Yes that's him. Jack Penniford. They were together for nearly 2 years but this past month they've been arguing nonstop. They'd go out in the evening and she'd come pack in tears, but she would never say what had happened."

"You haven't told him where she is, have you?" Stella asked.

She had to find out as much as possible about Jack and Madeline.

"No, we haven't. Should we?"

"Uh, no, don't. Madeline said she didn't want anyone to know where she was, especially Jack. Tell me, have their arguments ever turned physical?"

"Not that I know. Has she said something about it?" Madeline's mom sounded worried.

"Oh no, I was just wondering. Listen, I have to go. I'll talk to Madeline tonight, if she says anything, I'll let you know, okay?"

"Thank you Stella. Have a good evening."

"No problem. Talk to you soon. Bye." Stella hung up the phone and left her office. At least now things were starting to make sense.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters.**_

_**Chapter Thirteen **_

Madeline was in the kitchen making dinner when Stella got back to the apartment.

"Hey kiddo, what are you making?" Stella asked.

She dropped her keys on the table and hung her jacket and bag over the back of one of the chairs.

"It's just grilled chicken and vegetables. How was work?" Madeline turned round and kissed Stella on the cheek.

"It was fine. I booked a doctor's appointment for tomorrow at two. How're you feeling? You look a lot better."

"I think I'm okay, it sort of comes and goes. I figured that since it's gone, I should try and eat something. I made enough for two."

"Thanks. Do you need any help?" Stella smiled.

"No it's fine, it won't take long."

Madeline sat down at the table. She still looked a bit pale but the sparkle was back in her eyes. The curls in her hair had bounced back too.

"So, your parents called me today. They said a guy called Jack Penniford keeps turning up at the house, shouting for you. You wanna explain that?"

Madeline hesitated a bit. Stella didn't take her eyes off her.

"Let's skip the interrogation bit, it will be quicker. What did they tell you?"

Stella laughed at her daughter. They were so alike, it was incredible.

"Okay, you got me, sorry, it's a habit. They said Jack was your boyfriend for almost two years, but the past couple of months you've been fighting. Then you decided that you need to come here, to see me, for no real reason. Jack doesn't know you're here and you don't want him to know."

"Fine, I'll explain it all. Jack was my boyfriend, I met him at college, and he's a year older than me. Yes we started fighting and for the last month it just got worse and worse. So we broke up. I didn't decide to come and see you on a whim. I'd be planning it for months. My parents told me a bit about you, and then I did some digging and filled in the blanks through news reports and stuff online. Jack didn't want me to come and that's why we were arguing, he thought I'd meet someone else and forget all about him. I only don't want him to know because it's more hassle than it's worth." Madeline sighed.

It took Stella a few seconds to process all the information Madeline had just reeled off. Everything was starting to fall into place. She felt relieved that she wasn't just an excuse to leave the country. Madeline had actually wanted to see her.

Madeline got up to finish cooking the dinner. Stella went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of wine, she felt relaxed now. Madeline had opened up to her and now she didn't feel like she was constantly treading on eggshells. She walked back over to the table and sat down.

"So, tell me about Jack?" Stella asked casually.

Madeline turned round and gave Stella a suspicious look.

"It's not a test, I promise! I was just curious" Stella threw her hands up and laughed.

"What did you want to know?" Madeline replied, letting her guard down.

Stella saw this as prime opportunity to get as much out of Madeline as possible since she was obviously in a sharing mood. A million questions whirled round Stella's head, and they all seem to fly out of her mouth at once.

"What does he look like? Where did you meet him? What is his family like? Does he have a job? Does he drive? Are you being safe?" Stella rushed.

Madeline rolled her eyes in her Mother's direction. Stella knew the last question was pushing her luck a bit, but she felt like she had the right to know. Then she could decide whether a lecture was in order or not.

"He's tall, maybe 6ft-6ft 2, short blonde hair and blue eyes. I met him at college like I already said. He lives with his mum, dad was never around, and he has 2 brothers. He works at a pub. Yes he drives, his car is blue and it has an air freshener shaped like a football, English football that is. And I'm not even going to entertain that last question."

Madeline put the two dinner plates and her glass of water down on the table. Stella got out two knives and two forks and put them on the table alongside the plates. They ate quietly for a while, until Madeline broke the silence.

"So is Mr Taylor really not your boyfriend?" Madeline asked, putting down her cutlery.

Stella almost choked on her dinner. She dropped her knife on fork onto her plate and took a big gulp of wine, which she also nearly choked on.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Nothing, I was just asking. You seem really close, that's all." Madeline shrugged her shoulders. It wasn't an accusation, just an observation.

"We are close. I've known him for over 10 years. But we are just friends, and also he's my boss. It's just not like that, at all." Stella defended.

"Whatever, I was just asking. So if he's not, who is?"

Stella coughed; she didn't really know what to say. Ever since Frankie, she had trouble trusting men, so she just stayed away completely.

"Mac has been really great this week, with you being here and everything, but usually I work crazy hours. It's too complicated. I'm definitely better off without one."

Stella couldn't look her daughter in the eye; Madeline was watching Stella very closely. Stella's eye's looked glazed over and there were creases in her forehead. Madeline could tell she'd touched on a difficult topic, but before she could say anything more, everything went dark.

"Oh my God. Madeline!" Stella screamed.

Madeline's eyes rolled back into her head and she slipped down off the chair, her whole body started shaking. Stella jumped up out of her seat, her heart racing. She tore her phone out of her pocket and called 911.

"Detective Bonasera, I need an ambulance now." Stella shouted down the phone.

She passed off all her details on the phone, all the while keeping her eyes fixed on Madeline, who was lying still in front of her. Stella checked Madeline's vitals; she could feel a pulse and started performing CPR. Madeline's body was limp.

The paramedics arrived quicker than Stella had expected. When they got to the apartment Madeline's eye lids had started flickering and soon they opened up.

"Mum?" Madeline whispered. She lifted her head up like she was looking for Stella.

"I'm here sweetie it's going to be okay. I'm right and I'm not going anywhere. Lay your head back down." Stella soothed. She stroked Madeline's forehead and held tightly onto Madeline's hand.

When the paramedics came in and took over, everything felt like a blur. Stella didn't know what was going on, but she never let Madeline out of her sight. She stayed with her in the ambulance, holding on to her as best she could. Time felt like it was at a standstill, like they journey to the hospital took 10 hours instead of 10 minutes.

As they pulled up outside the hospital, Madeline was drifting in and out of consciousness. Every now and then she would try and sit up, or she would try and talk to Stella. Madeline was wheeled into the hospital and hooked up to all sorts of machines. Stella's head was spinning. Madeline was okay though and that was the most important thing. Stella paced the corridor outside of Madeline's room while the doctor was running various tests. She thought back to what Mac had said at lunch. 'You don't have to do this alone.' Stella took her phone out of her pocket and began dialling Mac's number, but before she had a chance to hit the call button, the doctor came out of Madeline's room.

"Ms Lane? I'm Doctor Rayleigh. You're Madeline's mother?" The doctor raised his arm and shook hands with Stella.

"Uh no, I mean yes she is my daughter but I'm not Ms Lane. It's Detective Bonasera." She knew she was rambling but she couldn't help it. "So, how is she? Is she going to be okay?" There was a huge not in her stomach.

"She's going to be absolutely fine, but it did want to talk to you about a few things. Would you mind stepping into my office?" Dr Rayleigh's voice was calm and composed but his words made Stella feel anxious.

"Of course but would you mind if I just go and in and see her for a few minutes?" Stella's wasn't really waiting for permission, she was going regardless.

"Go right ahead, my office is just down the hall, to the right." Doctor Rayleigh smiled at Stella and walked off towards his office.

Mac's number was still up on Stella's phone screen. She hit the call button but it went straight to the machine.

"Mac, it's Stella, I need you. Madeline's sick, she's in the hospital. Please, come and meet me." She hung up the phone and walked into Madeline's room.

Madeline was sitting up in bed. She was awake but her eye's looked distant. Stella smiled at her daughter. She looked so fragile.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" Stella sat down on the edge of the bed and held Madeline's hand.

"Well, I've been better. Thank you." Madeline smiled weakly.

Stella laughed and stood up. She kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"I'm going to see your doctor know okay, I'll be right back. I called Mac, so don't be surprised if he shows up."

Stella kissed her daughter again and turned to leave the room.

"Mum?" Madeline said, just as Stella was about to walk away.

"Yes honey?" Stella turned around.

"Before you go, just know that I'm really sorry." Madeline whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I love you Madeline." Stella whispered back.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

The beeping sound of Madeline's heart monitor was still ringing in Stella's ears as she walked away from her room. As she turned the corner to go towards the doctor's office, a familiar smiling face greeted her. Mac didn't say anything; he just pulled Stella in close and hugged her tight.

"How is she?" Mac asked, as he broke away from Stella.

"Better. I still don't really know what happened. I'm just on my way to talk to the doctor now." Stella couldn't bring herself to look Mac in the eye, she felt like she'd start crying if she did.

"What happened exactly?" Mac's voice was filled with concern.

"We were eating dinner and she just." Stella struggled to compose herself. The tears were welling up in her eyes. She took a deep breath and carried on. "She just collapsed Mac. I couldn't stop her, I couldn't catch her. I was totally useless."

She couldn't stop it this time, the tears just came. Mac grabbed Stella again; he pulled her in closer, tighter. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to make everything right for her. Mac eventually let Stella go. He wiped the tears from her eyes. He held onto her face and looked her directly in the eyes.

"You're strong, Stella. You'll get through this. I'm here for you." He kissed her forehead and dropped his arms to his sides.

"Thank you, for everything." Stella smiled softly at him. "I better go speak to the doctor now. Could you keep an eye on her?"

Mac nodded and smiled. He watched as Stella walked away from him. He turned away and walked towards Madeline's room. He sat down on a chair next to Madeline's bed.

"Guess you weren't expecting this when you came to New York?" Mac smiled.

"No definitely not. Did you see my mum?" Madeline asked.

She carefully turned her head to face Mac. She didn't want to move to quickly, she was worried all the wires would rip out of her.

"Yeah, she was on her way to see the doctor. She's worried about you Madeline."

Madeline's brow furrowed. Mac had seen the same look on Stella. They were so alike. Mac was amazed at how similar they were despite the fact that they barely knew each other before this week.

"Is she mad at me?" Madeline asked. She looked concerned.

"No, why would she be mad at you Madeline?" Mac looked at her carefully.

He could see in her eyes that something was worrying her.

* * *

><p>In the doctor's office, Stella sat down on the chair across from Doctor Rayleigh.<p>

"After examining Madeline, I have a few concerns."

Stella's heart was hammering. Her hands felt clammy and her breathing was rapid.

"Concerns?" Stella managed to stammer out.

"First of all, do you know anything about the bruises on her hips?" Doctor Rayleigh put his hands together and looked at Stella.

"I knew they were there, but when I asked about it she got so mad at me. She told me it was from walking into a table. I knew she was lying, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Damn it, I'm a detective, I should've done more!" Stella got frustrated with herself. She slammed her hands down on the desk.

Stella shook her head in disbelief. How was this all happening?

"Well they're definitely not from walking into a table. They look like marks from hands. They're not quite fist shaped though, so it's possible they from being pushed or shoved quite violently. Did she ever mention anything like this?"

"No. It's complicated with us. She's my daughter but I gave her up for adoption when she was a baby. Last Friday she came here to find me. I'm still just getting to know her." Yet again, Stella was close to tears.

* * *

><p>Back in her room Madeline lay quietly, trying not to look at Mac.<p>

"Madeline, what's going on? Why would your mom be mad at you?" He kept his eyes locked on Madeline.

Madeline shook her head, her bottom lip quivered and the tears started to fall.

"No, no, no, no. I can't tell you." She continued shaking her head.

"Why can't you tell?" Mac tried to press her for answers, not for his sake, but for Stella's.

"I can't tell you. It's not fair. I should've told her. Why didn't I say anything?" Madeline's crying got more intense, her whole body was shaking.

Mac put his hand out and held onto Madeline. He passed her a tissue, which she quickly used to hide her face.

"I should've told her." She whispered again and again.

Mac leant forward in his chair to get closer to Madeline.

"Madeline, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." Mac stated.

Madeline was shaking; tears were rolling down her cheeks. Mac thought about Stella, sitting in the office, he wondered what kind of news she was about to receive. Mac held on to Madeline's hand. She looked so vulnerable, so innocent. He wondered what was going on inside her head.

* * *

><p>Stella couldn't stop fidgeting. She was taping her feet, wiggling her fingers and twirling her hair. She was aware the doctor was talking, and she knew she should have been listening but she just wanted to be with Madeline. It was comforting to know that she was alone in her room. Mac was with her and she was going to be okay, but part of her wished that Mac had come into the office; she could really use the support.<p>

"Ms Bonasera?" The doctor said.

She snapped out of her trance.

"Oh I'm so sorry, what did you say?" Stella blushed; she should've been paying attention.

The doctor chuckled.

"It's quite alright Ms Bonasera. As I was saying, we do need to keep her in overnight and run a few more tests. I would like to do a CT scan but it could do more harm than good, an MRI scan would possible be better for her."

"A CT scan? Is she going to be okay? Why can't she have an MRI?" Stella felt like she was talking at 100mph, but getting no answers.

"Ms Bonasera, the scans are just precautionary. Since it's still early, we can't perform an MRI scan, theoretically it won't cause any harm but it's still a risk. A CT scan will be safer for them both."

Stella's ears began to ring, her heart dropped into her stomach and her breathing became erratic. She was hoping, praying to God that this wasn't happening. It wasn't possible, but everything made sense. It suddenly felt like her emotions were out of control. She felt angry, worried, scared and helpless all at the same time. It took all of her will-power to stay sitting in the chair, to not run out to Madeline's room.

"Oh my God." She eventually managed to whisper.

* * *

><p>Mac stayed sitting with Madeline. She had stopped crying but everyone few minutes she would sniff and whimper.<p>

"She told you, didn't she?" She eventually muttered.

"Told me what?" Mac asked, though he thought he already knew.

"You know, about the bruises on my hips. I lied to her because I didn't want her to worry and I didn't want her to get angry at me." Her lower lip trembled again, as if more tears were about to come.

"Why don't you tell me what really happened. If you don't feel up to telling her, I can tell her." Mac offered.

"Jack did it." Madeline looked like she was going to cry but she managed to stop herself.

"Jack is your boyfriend?"

"No, Jack was my boyfriend. We had a huge argument. When I went to leave he grabbed me and pushed me up against a wall." Madeline said through her tears which she had now lost control of.

Mac handed Madeline a tissue and leant forward in his chair.

"Did he do anything else to you?" Mac was deeply concerned about her.

"No, never, it was just that one time. That's why I didn't say anything." She wiped her eyes with the tissue. "I didn't want Stella to worry over nothing."

"Madeline, she's worrying anyway. He hit you. Madeline, that's assault."

* * *

><p>Stella sat in stunned silence. Doctor Rayleigh was confused by Stella's shocked expression.<p>

"Ms Bonasera, are you meaning to tell me you didn't know? She didn't mention anything?"

"I had no idea. Does she know?" Stella couldn't look the doctor in the eye. She couldn't sit still.

"I assume so. Is it possible she just didn't tell you?"

"We've only really known each other less than a week, but surely she would've mentioned it if she knew." She wasn't exactly talking to the doctor but it was impossible to keep her thoughts inside.

"Well, her blood work confirms it. Madeline's almost 2 months pregnant."


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi everyone :)  
>Thank you for all your reviews, they're lovely. Please don't forget to review it if you read it!<br>Becky x **

_**Chapter Fifteen**_

Stella was pacing round the doctor's office, trying to gather her thoughts and figure out her emotions. Her baby girl is having a baby. Suddenly, all of Madeline's behaviour started to make sense. She felt betrayed and hurt that Madeline didn't tell her.

"Can I go now?" Stella asked.

The doctor gestured towards the door.

"Of course, but please, remember, she's still in quite a fragile state right now. The last thing she needs is a lecture."

Stella was no longer paying attention; she had already left the office, slamming the door behind her. She marched up towards Madeline's room but she stopped just short of the door. Madeline was fast asleep and Mac was sitting on a bench across from the room.

"How long has she been asleep?" She snapped.

"Is something wrong?" Mac asked, getting up out of his seat.

"You're damn right something is wrong!"

Mac looked at Stella. He wasn't sure how Stella was going to handle the news about the bruises. Mac put his arm round Stella's shoulder, gripping tight so she couldn't shrug him off.

"Stella, Madeline told me about the bruises. She told me what really happened."

"Oh I get it! She'll tell everyone else what's going on, but she won't tell me anything!" Stella shouted.

She tried to push Mac off of her but he wouldn't let go. He steered her back towards the bench. Stella dropped down onto the bench and hit her head against the wall. She stared up at the ceiling. She wanted to charge into Madeline's room and scream and yell, but she knew that would achieve nothing. It would be like fighting fire with fire.

"I'm sorry Mac." She said. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"It's okay. You wanna tell me what that was about?"

"I will, but first tell me about the bruises."

"It was the boyfriend. She said they had an argument, as she turned to leave; he grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall. That was the first and only time it had ever happened. She didn't want to tell you because she didn't want you to worry." Mac said, rested his hand on top of Stella's.

"Oh my God, I can't believe she held that in this whole time. Did she say anything else?" Stella sighed.

"She kept saying 'I should've told her.' She started crying, telling me that she couldn't tell me what was wrong, that it wasn't fair to you, she should have told you first. You know what that's about?"

Stella wiped a tear from her cheek. She felt so guilty that Madeline had been carrying around this huge burden, it just wasn't fair. She thought about if it would be any different if she hadn't given Madeline away. Mac studied Stella's expression. She had the same look that he had seen on Madeline 20 minutes ago, a look of worry and concern. Stella stayed silent; it didn't even sound like she was breathing.

"Stella?" Mac said eventually, but Stella cut him off.

"Madeline's pregnant." She eventually managed.

Mac didn't know what to say. He just sat there and stared at the floor.

"How could she be so stupid Mac? She's only 18, she's still a kid." Stella said. Her voice slightly rose.

"She's the same age you were." Mac replied quietly.

He really didn't want to upset her, but it was the truth. Madeline needed support, not judgement.

"Yeah, don't you think I realise that Mac? Look how well that all turned out for me. What am I going to do?" She sounded exhausted.

"You know what you're going to do Stella. You're going to be there for her, no matter what she decides to do. She needs her mother to support her. You know exactly what that little girl is going through right now. You can help her." Mac wrapped his arm round Stella, who looked like she was going to cry.

"Everything's going to be okay, isn't it?" Stella asked through her tears. "The worst part is that I want to scream and shout at her for this, but I can't. There is nothing I can say to her, because that was me 18 years ago."

Stella looked up into Madeline's room. It looked like she was starting to wake up.

"You want me to go with you?" He asked, sensing Stella was about to get up.

"No, thank you, but no. I think this is one I have to do on my own. Don't go too far though; you know how our little talks usually turn out." Stella smiled and kissed Mac on the cheek.

"I'll go get a couple of coffees. I'll be back in 15 minutes. Good luck!" Mac stood up and hugged Stella, before walking off down the hall.

Stella took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She stood quietly by the door, before finally gathering up enough courage to go into the room. Stella sat down on the chair next to Madeline's bed and watched as her daughter started to wake up. Madeline's eyes flickered and squinted a few times, and then she was wide awake.

"Have you been watching me sleep?" Madeline asked, turning her head towards Stella.

"I just got here. How are you feeling?" Stella replied. She stretched out her arm and stroked Madeline's cheek.

"I'm tired. Mum, what's going to happen to me?" Madeline looked scared, her eyes were tearful.

Stella had to think carefully about how she worded this. She wanted to hear everything from Madeline, about the baby and about the bruises.

"Well, they're going to keep you here over night and in the morning they're going to run some tests, just to make sure you're okay. Other than that, you're going to be absolutely fine."

Tears started rolling down Madeline's face. Stella got up off the chair and lay down on the bed next to Madeline. She put her arm around her and pulled her in closer.

"Everything's going to be okay, sweetie. I'm not going to leave you." Stella kissed the top of Madeline's head.

"I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to get mad at me. Promise you won't?" Madeline pleaded.

Stella's heart skipped a beat. Which bombshell was Madeline about to drop?

"I promise."

"I haven't got a plane ticket for tomorrow. I didn't book one." Madeline wiped her eyes, but to no avail. The tears were still falling.

"What? Why not?" Stella asked. She was both shocked and relieved. Madeline can stay longer.

"I thought that if I booked one then I'd have to stay till that day, if I didn't book one then I could leave whenever. I didn't know what was going to happen, so I just prepared for the worst. Can you call and tell my mum?"

Stella wiped some of the tears off of Madeline's face.

"Of course, I'm going to call her later on. It's too early now. Is that what's been bothering you so much?" Stella asked, knowing full well that it wasn't.

"Have you spoken to Mr Taylor yet?" Madeline asked, looking up at her mother. She had a look of worry in her eyes.

"I did, he said you wanted to talk to me about something. Is that right?"

"Yeah, but again, you can't get mad at me. Okay?"

"I promise. Whatever you tell me from here on in, I will not get mad." It took a lot for Stella to actually promise that, considering what she already knew.

"Jack pushed me up against a wall. That's how I got the bruises. I was scared; I didn't know how to tell you." Madeline cried some more.

Stella took the box of tissues from the bedside cabinet and dropped them on her lap. She handed one to Madeline.

"Madeline, I need you to know that you can tell me anything, okay? I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what happens."

Stella wanted to grab Madeline, hold onto her tight and never let go. Madeline twisted her body so she was facing Stella. She looked up into Stella's eyes.

"You know don't you?" Madeline whispered. Her lip trembled.

A lump formed in Stella's throat. Tears began forming in her eyes but she knew she had to hold it together, for Madeline's sake.

"Yeah, I do."

Madeline's whole body started shaking with the force of crying. Stella couldn't hold it in anymore, tears started to fall.

"I'm so, so sorry mum."

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." Stella soothed.

"What am I going to do?" Madeline said weakly.

"Don't worry about it now, okay. Tomorrow, when you're out of here, we can go home and talk this whole thing out. I promise you, everything will work out."

Mac walked round the corner towards Madeline's room. He saw the two of them lying asleep together on Madeline's bed and smiled. 'This is how it should be.' He thought to himself. He walked over to the bench and sat down, facing Madeline's room. They both looked so peaceful lying there. Mac finished his coffee and got up. He went over to the nurse's station and grabbed a pen and some paper. Quickly he wrote Stella a note and left it on the bedside cabinet in Madeline's room.

He left the hospital, leaving Stella and Madeline fast asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Sixteen**_

Stella woke up early the next morning. Her neck and back were sore from lying twisted on the hospital bed. She rubbed her eyes and pushed herself slowly up off the bed, being careful not to wake Madeline.

Her whole body ached. If she wasn't standing in the hospital, she'd say last night was a dream. She'd say that Madeline wasn't really hit by her boyfriend, and that she wasn't really pregnant. Stella picked up the note from Mac. It said she didn't need to worry about coming into work. She thought about everything she still needed to do during the day. She walked out into the corridor and took her phone out of her pocket and typed out Madeline's parent's number. As she went to hit the call button, she hesitated, holding her finger over the key. Was it her place to tell them about the pregnancy? She decided against it, thinking it best for Madeline to tell them herself. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage as the phone rang.

"Hello?" said a deep, gruffly voice on the other end.

Stella's heart stopped. She suddenly didn't know what to say.

"Um...hello? Is anyone there?"

She closed her eyes and breathed in.

"Yes, hi, this is uh, Stella. Stella Bonasera." She eventually managed to stammer.

The voice on the line went silent too. A minute felt like an eternity. The silence was deafening.

"I'm sorry, I'll call back later." She said.

"No, don't. It's okay. How are you? It's been what, 10 years? What's going on?"

"Cameron, it's about our daughter."

Stella quickly rambled off everything that had happened, she really just want to get off the phone. Talking to Cameron was awkward and uncomfortable, and she really just wanted to be with Madeline.

"Oh, and she's going to be staying with me for another week. Can you make sure you tell your mom and dad?" Stella said.

"Yeah, I will. Send my love, tell her to get better. It was great talking to you, Stella." Cameron hung up the phone.

Stella sighed and pushed the hair out of her face.

"Stella? Mum? Are you out there?" Madeline called out from inside her room.

"Yeah honey, I'm here."

Stella walked into the room where Madeline was laying looking tired and miserable.

"Morning" Stella smiled as she kissed Madeline's cheek.

"Can we go home now? I'm starving, and this food looks disgusting." Madeline whined.

"Doctor Rayleigh should be around soon, we'll find out what's going on and then I'll take you home. I'll get you some proper food too."

They sat in silence for a while, both of them too tired to speak. Eventually, Stella got up and got herself a coffee and some water for Madeline. When she came back, she found Doctor Rayleigh and a young nurse in Madeline's room. Stella quickened her pace and got into the room.

Madeline had a huge grin on her face, a smile Stella hadn't seen in a few days. It was a strange feeling, Madeline looked so happy and it warmed Stella's heart, but at the same time it broke her to see her daughter in a hospital bed.

"I can go home!" Madeline squealed. She looked like she wanted to jump up and dance.

"That's great honey!" Stella said, holding onto Madeline's hand and kissing her palm. "So does she not need a CT scan now?" Stella asked, turning towards the doctor.

"Not now no, I've had another look at her charts, and it appears that the seizure was caused by extreme low blood sugar."

"Low blood sugar?" Stella questioned, her brow creased.

"Yes, Madeline have you been eating properly?" The doctor asked, switched his gaze from Stella to Madeline.

Stella looked down at Madeline, who started to look uncomfortable with everyone staring at her.

"No, I haven't feeling well this week. I've barely been able to keep anything down, just water."

"We'll prescribe you something to keep your blood sugar levels up. You may also want to start taking pre-natal vitamins." The doctor said, raising his eyebrow.

Madeline, who was still holding Stella's hand, tensed up. Stella looked down at Madeline, smiled, and squeezed her hand.

The doctor finished handing Stella various bits of paperwork, all she had to now, was to sign Madeline out and they were free to leave. Stella was relieved to finally have Madeline come home. It had only been one night but it felt like they'd been gone a week. She also felt anxious, once they were home, she was going to have to talk to Madeline about the baby. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to having. The exact same thing was playing on Madeline's mind. She knew she was going to have to explain herself and she really didn't know what she was going to say - she just felt so guilty. As she got up off of the bed, Stella walked into the room, holding another cup of coffee.

"Are you ready to go Madeline?" Stella asked cheerily.

"You know you drink too much coffee, right?" Madeline asked back, eyeing the takeaway cup.

"That is not true. This is tea." Stella laughed and raised her cup.

"It's still caffeine." Madeline shrugged. "And yeah, I'm ready to go."

Madeline grabbed the cup out of Stella's hand and took a huge gulp of it. She swallowed the hot drink and grinned at Stella, before handing the cup back.

* * *

><p>Back at the apartment, Madeline dropped herself down on the couch and threw her head back onto the cushions. Stella soon followed, collapsing right next to her daughter. It was quiet for a few minutes. Neither of them could muster up the energy to talk. They were both avoiding starting the conversation.<p>

"Do you ever get bored being a police officer?"

"Well, technically I'm a crime scene investigator, and no, it never gets boring. Each case has its own little surprises."

"Ever kill anyone?" Madeline asked. She wasn't stalling anymore, she was genuinely curious.

Stella hesitated. She didn't want to scare Madeline, but she didn't want to lie to her either.

"Yes. I have." She sighed.

"I once ran over a squirrel in my car. I cried for an hour afterwards." Madeline said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that's quite the same thing." Stella laughed.

"No I guess not. I'm going to get something to drink." Madeline pushed herself up off the couch. She was doing everything she could to avoid explaining herself.

When Madeline returned, she was sucking on a juice box and had a bag of Skittles in her hand. She sat back down on the couch and stretched her legs across Stella's lap.

She opened the bag of Skittles, threw one up into the air and caught in her mouth with a grin.

"Impressive." Stella nodded. "So, Madeline, as much as I wish this conversation wasn't happening..."

Madeline cut her off. "Well let's not have it then."

She went to swing her legs off of Stella's lap, but she wasn't quick enough. Stella grabbed on to her legs and pulled her back down.

"How long have you known about it?" Stella asked, looking directly at Madeline.

"Remember when you had to go to work and I wanted to go shopping earlier this week? That's when I found out. I didn't say anything, I was too scared. I'm sorry." Madeline couldn't bring herself to look up from her lap.

Stella was silent for a minute. She didn't want to lose her temper and start an unnecessary argument. The silence was almost uncomfortable. Both wanted to speak, but they didn't know what to say.

"You didn't think of saying anything when you got sick? That could've been really dangerous Madeline!"

"I know! It was stupid; I was just trying to pretend it wasn't real. You're really not mad at me?" Madeline's voice started getting high-pitched, like she was trying not to cry.

Stella reached her hand out and laced her fingers around Madeline's.

"Yes, it was stupid. Incredibly stupid, but no I'm not mad at you."

"Why though? I would be mad at me. In fact, I am mad at me." Madeline asked. She looked confused, but grateful that she wasn't in trouble.

"Madeline, when I got pregnant with you, I was the same age as you are now, give or take a few months. Yeah, I was angry, really angry. And I was disappointed in you. When I gave you away, as difficult as it was, I hoped it would stop you making the same mistakes I did." As soon as she uttered the last words, she regretted it.

"I was a mistake?" said Madeline, a look of hurt shot across her face.

"No, sweetie, that's not what I meant. You were just a surprise. A beautiful, wonderful surprise, but I had no-one to help me. I didn't have parents who could look after me. I wanted you to have better than I had. I grew up in an orphanage; you grew up in a beautiful house with parents who could give you everything. You were my baby and you deserved the best."

Madeline leant forward and wrapped her arms around Stella's neck, hugging her tightly. Stella put her arms round her daughter's waist and held her. Madeline let go and pulled away. She picked her juice box and stuck the straw in her mouth.

"I am grateful, you know. I wasn't but I am now." She said, while chewing on the straw from the juice box.

"So, what are we going to do?" Stella asked, pulling the straw out of Madeline's mouth and dropping it onto the coffee table.

Madeline looked shocked. She raised her eyebrows and her eyes widened.

"We? You're not making me go back home?"

"I can't make you do anything, honey. And yes 'we'. I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I wanted to talk to you about going home." Stella said.

She looked at Madeline, who was avoiding eye contact. Stella hesitated before speaking; she wanted to be sure she was doing the right thing.

"Madeline, if you want to go back to England and never see me again, I'll understand. I'll be heartbroken, but I'll understand. I don't know if I can watch you leave again. So if you want to stay here, I couldn't think of anything better." A tear rolled down Stella's cheek. Madeline reached up and wiped it away.

"You're really going to let me stay?" Madeline's face lit up. Tears of joy rolled down her face.

It was Stella's turn to wipe away the tears. She held on to Madeline's hand and looked her straight in her eyes.

"Of course I'm going to let you stay. I want you to stay! But you're going to have to do the grown-up thing her Madeline, you need to call your parents and tell them. You need to tell them about everything."

Madeline looked down at her lap. She twisted her fingers round. Stella watched her daughter's body language. She looked so uncomfortable.

"Madeline?" She asked, trying to push her for a reply.

"I don't want to tell them." She whispered. She twisted little braids in the ends of her hair. She couldn't bring herself to look at Stella.

"Honey, you don't have a choice. You have to tell them. You have to be responsible. You're not just making decisions for you anymore Madeline. My choices affected you, and now your choices and going to affect this baby. You have to be responsible."

Madeline shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters.**_

_**Chapter Seventeen**_

Stella was up late that night, despite the fact that she was so tired her eyes were burning. The apartment was quiet. Madeline was tucked up in bed, fast asleep. Eventually Madeline had agreed that she needed to call her parents, but by the time she had made up her mind, it was already too late; the call would have to wait until tomorrow.

The thought of Madeline telling her parents that she was staying in New York made Stella feel incredibly anxious. She felt like she was stealing Madeline away from them, but she was an adult now, and she had to make her own decisions.

Stella thought about how dramatically her life would change once Madeline made that call. She had already missed practically a whole week's work and she couldn't afford to miss much more. Mac had been so helpful the past week, allowing Stella the time she needed, but there was only so much he could do. Stella looked around her apartment. She loved the place, and had finally got everything just how she wanted it, but there was no way that it was big enough for 2 adults and possibly a baby. She'd have to start looking for a new place first thing tomorrow. If Madeline decided to keep the baby, the new apartment would need to be completely baby-proof. Stella pressed her fingers against her forehead, as if she was trying to quieten the thoughts screaming in her head.

Was it possible to work her job, with the constant danger and the erratic hours, and still look after her pregnant daughter? As much as she loved Madeline, Stella knew how much attention she needed, and she wouldn't always be able to physically be there for her.

* * *

><p>When Stella woke up the next morning, she was still fully clothed, sitting upright on the couch. She wasn't sure of the exact time, but she knew it was early, maybe 6 or 7 am. As she walked through her apartment to the bathroom, a feeling of sadness washed over her. She didn't want to leave her home, but as she said to Madeline, she had to face up to her responsibilities.<p>

Stella stripped off and climbed into the shower at switched on the hot water, letting it fall all over her body. The heat instantly made her feel relaxed. She tried not to let herself think about everything that was bothering her.

As she stepped out of the shower, she wrapped a large fluffy white towel around her. She pulled some clean underwear and clothes out of the linen closet. Quietly she walked into her bedroom. To her surprise, Madeline was sitting up in bed, staring out the window.

"What are you doing up?" They said in unison.

Stella laughed at sat down on the bed and put her arm around Madeline's shoulders and kissed her on the top of her head. Madeline adjusted her position so that she was cuddled into Stella's side.

"I've been thinking about what I'm going to do." Madeline said.

Stella mentally prepared herself. This was it. Whatever Madeline said next was going to change everything.

"If you're really, seriously going to be there for me..."

"Which I am." Stella said, cutting her off.

"Then I want to stay with you, and keep the baby." Madeline stammered out the last bit.

Stella felt elated. She was proud that Madeline had made her own decision and was facing up to her responsibilities. There was also a part of her that was excited at the idea of having a baby around. As difficult as it was going to be, it would be an exciting new chapter in both of their lives.

"I'm proud of you Madeline. We've got a lot to get together now; 7 months will go by so quickly."

Madeline sat quietly for a few minutes, twisting the ends of her hair together and pulling on split ends.

"This is kind of terrifying." She whispered.

Stella thought back to when she was in Madeline's position. She remembered the unbelievable pressure, the fear, the worry and the anxiety. It was so daunting going through it all on her own, but for once she felt glad she did. Knowing what she did would allow her to give Madeline every bit of support.

"Yep, I know. It's scary but we'll get through it. Providing I don't get called into work, the first thing I'm going to do is set appointments to look for a new apartment, a bigger place with enough room for all of us. Then I'll call the doctors and set you up there. It's going to be okay, I've done this before, remember."

"Thank you." Madeline leant forward on her arms and kissed Stella's cheek. "I think I'm going to try and sleep again."

"Good idea. I'll wake you up in a couple of hours. I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything?"

"No, thanks anyway, I'll see you later." Madeline lay her head back down and pulled the bed covers up over her head.

"Okay, love you." Stella smiled and closed the bedroom door, leaving Madeline to rest.

The grocery store was as quiet as expected early on a Saturday morning. The peacefulness allowed Stella to think clearly and the emptiness allowed her to amble around the aisles at her own pace.

As she walked through the store, she had a flashback to before Madeline had arrived in New York. Everything was different but it was exciting. Now, when she saw a mother and a baby together, it didn't bring back the feelings of guilt. She would do everything she could to be there for Madeline and the baby.

Stella rounded the corner of the baby aisle. She desperately wanted to feel the cart up with baby products; nappies, bottles, pacifiers – whole lot, but something was stopping her. She didn't want to scare Madeline or make her panic about everything that's going to happen. She was absent-mindedly comparing two different boxes of baby formula when she heard a familiar voice.

"Something you feel like sharing, Stella?" said Danny Messer, laughing too himself. "Do I need to be getting a 'Worlds Best Mother' card or something?"

Stella jumped when she realised who it was. How was she going to talk herself out of this one? Again she was left wondering whether she should talk about Madeline's pregnancy or whether she should just keep it quiet. She was going to have to tell eventually, so it may as well be now.

"Ah no, try world's best grandmother." Stella sighed. Saying the word 'grandmother' in reference to herself made her feel old.

Danny laughed out loud until he realised she wasn't kidding. He raised his eyebrows in shock. Stella still had her back partially turned to Danny. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and spun her round. Her eyes were red like she wanted to cry.

"You're serious?" Danny said looking her dead in the eyes.

Stella nodded, bit her lip and smiled. A smile spread across Danny's face, he wrapped Stella in his arms.

"That's fantastic! Tell Madeline, I said congrats." Danny kissed Stella on the cheek.

"It's all a little over-whelming if I'm honest. And thank you, but I'm not sure if she even wants me talking about it. She's going to stay with me though, here in New York, so I'm not losing her."

"Well whatever happens, Stell, we're all here for you." Danny hugged Stella again. "Now, I gotta get this stuff back to Lindsay. She's even demanding on a Saturday." Danny said, gesturing towards a shopping cart filled with groceries.

"Thank you." Stella replied. "I'll probably see you later anyway, I have so much paper work to catch on and I've not exactly had my eye on the ball this week."

"Ok, see you then Grandma." Danny pushed his cart off, laughing, before he could get it any trouble.

Stella put the box of baby formula back on the shelf and walked off, leaving the baby aisle behind her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey guys! So I'm thinking about wrapping the story up, I'm not sure if anyone is still enjoying/reading it. Anyway, thank you for the reviews!**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters.**_

_**Chapter Eighteen**_

5 months went by before Stella found them a new place to live. The apartment was a lot bigger, the rent was insanely high but there was enough room for 3 people and it was a lot closer to work. It had 2 bedrooms; one for Stella and one for Madeline and the baby. It was perfect and it felt like home.

Stella was back at work full time, clocking in as much overtime as she could before the baby arrived. She also started stocking on baby things. Things like diapers, bottles and baby-grows were starting to fill up the cupboards. All paperwork had been completed and Madeline was now officially living with Stella. Everyone at work knew about the baby, and they all, Danny especially, took great delight in calling her 'Grandma'. In truth, she secretly liked it.

Madeline, who was nearly 7 months pregnant, was happily waddling around New York City. Her stomach was now huge and she felt like she was going to explode, even though she still had 2 months to go. Everything was uncomfortable but it was exciting. She had found herself a part-time job at store close to the apartment and to Stella's work. Although it made Stella extremely anxious having Madeline out of her sight for so long, she was so proud of her daughter.

Together Madeline and Stella went to all the doctor's appointments. It wasn't something Stella ever expected she would have to do but she loved every minute of it.

It was a cloudy Wednesday morning when Stella got the call that changed everything. She was sat at her desk finishing off some paper work when Mac stormed in, full speed, and threw her coat onto the desk.

"C'mon, we gotta go - now." He ordered.

He looked serious so Stella didn't question it. She picked up her coat, and slipped her arms into the sleeves. By the time she was ready to go, Mac was already half way to the elevators. She ran quickly, the heels of her boots clicking against the floor as she tried to catch up with him.

"Mac, what's going on?" Stella asked. He was starting to worry her.

"There's been an attack. Two girls were involved, both with knife injuries. One was critically injured, one needed stitches. They're both going to be fine." Mac stared straight ahead, not looking Stella in the eye.

"Okay?" She couldn't work out what he wasn't telling her.

The elevator opened out into the parking garage. They climbed into Mac's car and drove off out into the road. Mac had switched on the siren and they sped through the streets of New York.

"You gunna tell me what's going on?" Stella asked, still trying to find out what was happening. "Are we heading to the crime scene?"

"I am." Mac said as he pulled the car to a stop.

Stella looked out the window. It was the hospital. Her heart started beating, but she didn't want to get ahead of herself.

"So where am I going?" She practically whispered.

"To see Madeline, she's waiting inside in the ER. She's going to be okay Stella." Mac held onto her hand.

Before Mac had chance to further reassure her, Stella had already bolted out of the car, leaving the door open. She ran through the hospital, her heart beating so hard she could practically hear it. Stella charged up to the nurse's station and slammed her hands on the desk.

"Where's Madeline Lane, I need to see her now."

The receptionist sitting at the desk looked up at Stella and back down to her paperwork. The woman flicked through a few pieces of paper in front of her.

"If you just take a seat over there..." She sighed, gesturing towards the waiting area.

Stella dropped her NYPD badge on the desk and pushed it forward. The nurses eyes widened in shock at the sight of the shiny gold badge in front of her.

"I said now." Stella demanded. She picked up her badge and attached it back onto her belt.

"She's in room C, just down the hallway." The now blushing woman muttered; pointing towards a set of double doors behind her.

Stella ran towards the doors and pushed them open. No matter how fast she ran, it wouldn't be fast enough. Thankfully room C was one of the first rooms. She could see Madeline through the little glass window. She was all alone, lying down on a bed; tears were rolling down her face. Stella pushed open the door and ran over to the bed.

"Madeline, honey, are you okay? What happened?"

"Mum!" Madeline cried. She sat up and let Stella wrap her arms around her.

Stella didn't say anything for a few minutes. She just let Madeline cry into her. There was a cut about 3 inches long on her right for arm. It was all stitched up but it was bright red and looked sore. Stella sat Madeline back down on the bed and draped her arm over her shoulders.

"Tell me what happened?" Stella asked, holding on to Madeline tightly.

"They came out of nowhere, 2 men. Alyssa and I were un-packing some boxes at the back of the shop and they grabbed hold of her and said that we had to give them everything in the boxes." Madeline paused to catch her breath. Tears were streaming down her face. "We did, but there wasn't really anything in them and they got angry, like it was our fault. Then one of them pulled a knife out of his pocket. I ran to Alyssa and went to put my arm around her, but as I did the guy stabbed her. The edge only sliced across my arm but it went straight into Alyssa. And he stabbed her again. Then they ran away. I tried to hold her up, but I couldn't, she went pale."

Madeline was crying hard, she took several deep breaths to try and catch up with the effort of speaking. Stella rocked Madeline back and forth to try and calm her down. Stella was still holding on to her when she suddenly went limp and started shaking. Stella laid her back down on the bed and ran to the door.

"I need a doctor in here now!" Stella screamed into the hallway.

Within seconds Madeline's room was filled with doctors and nurses and Stella was back by her side. Madeline was convulsing again and had started vomiting. Doctors were quickly trying to insert various needles and drips into her arm. Everyone was talking fast, shouting instructions at each other, as if Stella wasn't even there. She was standing back against the wall. She couldn't get close to Madeline.

"We're going to have to do an emergency c-section. The baby is in distress. If we don't get it out now, it might not make it."

"Okay start prep for surgery." One of the leading doctors called out.

Stella panicked. Why wasn't anyone telling her anything? Is the baby coming now? She grabbed hold of one of the nurse's arms.

"What the hell is going on?" Stella held tightly on to the nurses' arm.

The nurse, who was looked quite young, shifted under Stella's tight grip. She glanced over at the doctor and looked down at her feet. She was obviously newly qualified and Stella's intense approach was making her nervous.

"Um, I think you should ask the doctor over there, he'll be able to explain it better."

Stella let go of the girl's arm and marched over to where the doctor was standing, looking over Madeline's chart and shouting orders.

"What's happening? Please, tell me what's going on?" Stella pleaded, trying a softer approach.

"We're putting Madeline in for an emergency caesarean section. She's being prepped right now."

"But, the baby isn't due for another 2 months?" Stella exclaimed. She kept stealing glances at Madeline. She had stopped shaking, but the nurses were still surrounding her.

"Well, we believe the stress of the attack on Madeline has also put a severe amount of pressure on the baby. The baby is distressed, and we need to get it out within the next 2 hours, if we don't both Madeline and the baby are in danger."

Stella nodded. The Doctor gave Stella a look of re-assurance and walked back over to the bed. Everything was ready for the surgery. The nurses started to wheel Madeline out of the room; Stella followed closely and held on to Madeline's hand. She tried to wrap her head round the fact that pretty soon her daughter was going to be a mother and she was going to be a grandmother. She tried to focus on life after the surgery, instead of the surgery itself. Madeline was in good hands, she was going to be fine.

When they got to the operating room, an assisting nurse handed Stella a cap, a set of scrubs and some gloves. The nurse left the room so Stella could put everything on. Stella watched through the small glass window as doctors and nurses rushed around. She took her phone out of her pocket and pulled up Mac's number. The phone rang a few times before he finally picked. She needed to make this call quick.

"Taylor." Mac said, his voice instantly comforting voice.

"Mac, I don't really have time to talk. They're, uh, prepping Madeline for surgery."

"Surgery? What kinda surgery? Stella, I thought she only needed stitches?" Mac's voice rose, he started to sound panicky which was unusual for him.

"The baby's distressed, so she's having an emergency c-section. She had another seizure and she went unconscious. I'm not sure she even knows it's happening."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm nearly finished here." Mac insisted.

"Thank you Mac. I'll see you soon." Stella breathed a sigh of relief.

She clicked the phone shut and put it into her pocket. She pulled on the scrubs and gloves. A nurse opened the door and smiled at Stella.

"It's time."


	19. Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters.**_

_**Chapter Nineteen**_

The operating room was hot. That was the first thing Stella noticed. The cap that she was wearing was making her head itch and the scrubs were making her feel claustrophobic. She wanted to scream, tear everything off and run away. Run away and act like none of this was happening. And then she saw Madeline.

Madeline, her beautiful little girl, was lying on the operating table. Madeline was awake, but she looked exhausted. A large blue cloth screen held up by wires, ran the length of Madeline's chest, dropping down either side of the table. A drip needle was hanging out of right arm, electrodes were attached to her chest, a cuff was wrapped around her left arm to monitor her heart rate and an oxygen mask was strung around her neck. A specialist team of neo-natal nurses were on standby to take care of the baby as soon as it came out.

Stella walked over to Madeline. She took hold of Madeline's hand and kissed it. Madeline twisted her neck and looked up at Stella, she smiled weakly. Madeline's hair was damp with sweat, and was sticking to Madeline's face. Stella took a hair band that was on her wrist and gathered all of Madeline's long curly hair into a pony tail. She leant down and kissed her forehead.

A nurse pushed a small stool over towards Stella, so she could sit by Madeline's head. Madeline held tightly on to Stella's hand, tears were silently running down her face. Stella saw the tears and smiled. She used her free hand to wipe them away.

"Hey, you're going to be okay. I'm right here." Stella ran her hand down the side of Madeline's hot face.

"I can't feel my legs." Madeline whispered. She looked deeply concerned about this. Stella guessed that she was a little under the effects of the drugs.

"It's the epidural, it's a good thing." Stella smiled and laughed. "You ready?"

"I'm scared." Madeline said wearily. She squeezed Stella's hand.

"I know." Stella kissed Madeline's forehead. "It'll all be over soon."

"Okay, we're ready to go!" The surgeon called out. "Now, Madeline, you're not going to feel any pain but you may feel some pressure."

Madeline nodded. Stella noticed that her hands were trembling and the tears had started flowing again, but there was a smile on her face and, despite the tears, her eyes looked bright and happy.

"Everyone, we're ready to begin the surgery. NICU team, be ready, I'm going to hand the baby straight to you. Madeline, we're going to start now." The doctor said with a comforting smile.

Stella stood by Madeline's head, holding on to her hands. She felt incredibly restless, and couldn't stay sitting on the stool. She watched as the surgeon made the incision and his hands disappearing inside Madeline's abdomen. Madeline tightened her grip on Stella's hand.

"It's okay, it's nearly over." Stella soothed.

The operating room, which had been fairly silent, was suddenly filled with the loud wailing of a tiny baby. Stella's eyes filled with tears, only a few escaping and trickling down her face.

"Congratulations Madeline. You have a baby girl." The doctor announced, with a huge smile on his face. "Ms Bonasera, would you care to do the honours?" He asked, as a nurse handed Stella a small pair of scissors.

Stella quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. She took the scissors and carefully, she cut through the umbilical cord. The baby girl was quickly whisked away by the NICU team, but everything seemed to fine.

"She's beautiful Madeline, really beautiful. You did it, I'm so proud of you honey." Stella whispered, her eyes over-flowing with tears.

The surgeon carried on working on Madeline, making sure everything was okay, and sewing her up. The baby's cries filled the room, which was a comforting sound for everyone. Stella sat with Madeline, holding her hand and stroking her hair. The NICU worked hard on the baby, making sure that her heart, brain and lungs were all working well; so far they found no problems.

"So, have you decided on her name yet?" Stella asked, twirling one of Madeline's curls between her fingers.

"I'll know when I see her." Madeline replied. "Can I see her soon?"

From the start Madeline was adamant that she didn't want to know the sex of the baby. She didn't plan any names either, she wanted to wait.

Stella looked over towards where the nurses were with the baby. They had stopped rushing around, and now it looked like they were carrying out routine tests; weighing and measuring etc.

"I think so." Stella smiled, her eyes lighting up as a nurse carried the baby over.

The nurse had the tiny little girl wrapped in a blanket. She had stopped crying and was sleeping quite peacefully. Stella and another nurse helped Madeline adjust her body position, so she was able to hold her new baby daughter.

The nurse carefully placed the sleeping infant on Madeline's chest. Madeline carefully wrapped her arms around her daughter. The little girl's eyes flickered and opened. They were a beautiful green-blue colour, just like Madeline's and Stella's. Fine brown hairs graced the top of her head. She was perfect. Madeline's eyes filled with tears, and they ran down her face as she kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"Isla" She whispered.

"Isla." Stella repeated, smiling and stroking the baby's soft head.

Madeline's eyes were fixated on the beautiful little girl, but they were starting to droop. She was tired but she couldn't bear to take her eyes away. A nurse walked over to Madeline.

"Let's get you down to the recovery ward, okay?" The nurse had kind, caring eyes. As much as she didn't want to, Madeline let the nurse take Isla away.

Madeline turned to look at Stella. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I don't want her to go." She said quietly.

"I know baby, but you'll see her soon, promise." Stella said, comforting her.

Stella followed Madeline and baby Isla down to the maternity ward. She had not expected today to be so hectic.

"Stella!" Mac called out from behind her.

Stella looked down at Madeline, who was now fast asleep. She carried on walking beside the bed but slowed her pace.

"I'll be right up. Thank you." Stella smiled, and spun round on her heels and started to walk towards Mac.

As soon as she got close enough, Mac wrapped his arms around Stella. She was still filled with emotions from the birth so the sudden rush of love brought the tears back into her eyes.

"She's beautiful Mac." Stella said proudly as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sure she is." He smiled. "She's got great genes."

Stella laughed and smiled at Mac. Her cheeks suddenly felt warm and Mac noticed a subtle pink colour rush across Stella's olive skin.

"So, how's Alyssa, is she okay? Did you catch the guys who did this?" Stella asked, desperate for some information.

Mac lifted his hand a pushed a strand of hair out of Stella's face.

"She's still in surgery. It's still too early to tell. Madeline was incredibly lucky to only come out with stitches. Lindsay and Danny are still at the crime scene, I just wanted to make sure you were both okay."

"The stress of that attack caused Madeline to have another seizure and go into labour 2 months early, Mac. I could've lost them both. That's not luck." Stella stated, getting slightly defensive.

"You know what I meant, Stella. So, are they both okay, Madeline and the baby?" Mac asked.

"Madeline and Isla" Stella grinned. "And they're absolutely fine."

Her heart swelled with pride just mentioning their names in the same sentence. Madeline and Isla; her girls. They were her whole world, and now she couldn't wait to get back to them. Mac put his hand on Stella's lower back and gestured towards the elevator ahead of them.

"C'mon, you gotta introduce me to the little lady."

Mac moved his arm up around Stella's waist and together they walked towards the elevator. Within minutes, they had whizzed up to the maternity ward. Stella spent the short trip talking, at a speed of a million miles a second, and filling Mac in on everything that happened.

When they got to Madeline's room, she was laying in bed, still fast asleep. In a crib next to her lay Isla who was also sleeping peacefully. Stella went to reach for the door handle, but decided against it. She didn't want to wake them; it had been a long day for everyone. Together, Mac and Stella stood outside Madeline's room and for a while, they watched in silence.

"I'm scared Mac." Stella whispered, her eyes fixated on Isla.

"Scared, of what?" He asked. He adjusted his position so that it was almost impossible for Stella not to look at him.

"Scared...that I'm going to screw everything up again. This whole thing is new to both of us. I didn't do the baby thing. Sure, I can prepare a bottle and change a diaper. I can teach Madeline how to look after a baby, I can't teach her how to be a mother."

"Stella, look at me." Mac ordered. He took hold of her face and turned her towards him. "No one can teach anyone how to be a mother. You can only learn. We'll work it out."

"We?" Stella questioned, confused. She raised an eyebrow and looked Mac in his eyes.

"We." He stated. He kissed her forehead and held onto her hands.


	20. Chapter 20

**__Hey everyone! I struggled to find a lot of time to write this week, so I hope the chapter turned okay and that you enjoy it!  
>Please, let me know!<strong>

**x**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters. **_

_**Chapter Twenty**_

After Stella had gotten changed, she and Mac stood together, their fingers entwined, outside of Madeline's room. They watched as Madeline slowly started to wake up. Stella wasted no time in going to see her. Madeline's eye's flickered into life. She woke with a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes instantly going to the sleeping baby lying next to her, then up to her mother who had just walked into the room.

"Hey!" Stella whispered, struggling to contain her excitement. "How are you feeling?"

She sat down on the bed next to Madeline and baby Isla. Stella put one arm around Madeline and used the other to hold onto the crib that Isla was in. Mac stood cautiously at the door, not wanting to disturb this tender family moment.

"I feel like someone has just cut me in half." She laughed quietly.

Madeline propped herself up on the pillows and tried to adjust herself. She winced from the pain and effort of it all. Mac quickly went to her side and helped pull the pillows up from behind her so she could get comfortable again. He pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down.

Stella kept switching her gaze from Madeline to Isla. It didn't take long before her arms were aching to hold the gorgeous little girl. She slowly pulled the crib towards her, so it was touching the edge of the bed. Isla twitched in her sleep and slowly her eyes started to open. She yawned widely and looked up at Stella. Carefully, Stella leant forward and scooped up the precious little bundle. With one hand firmly supporting Isla's head and the other holding her back, she lifted the baby up close to her face. Their noses touched and Stella softly kissed Isla's mouth.

"Hello, beautiful girl." Stella whispered, touching her lips to Isla's cheeks.

She cradled Isla close to her and rocked her gently back and forth. It reminded her of when Madeline was born. It was a strange but warming feeling to be experiencing this again. Her eyes started to tear up. The 3 most important people in her life were all here in this room. Stella turned to Madeline and slowly she passed over Isla. Her eyes caught Mac's as she moved. He had a soft smile on his face and was looking peacefully over the 3 of them. The room was quiet; they were all just enjoying the moment.

A nurse knocked, opened the door and stuck her head in.

"Miss Lane, if you're ready, it's time to feed baby Isla."

"I'll give you some privacy." Mac stood up out of his chair. He leant forward and kissed the top of Madeline's head. "Congratulations."

"Wait a minute Mac; can I just talk to you for a second?" Stella called out, as Mac started to leave the room. "I'll be back soon, okay." She kissed Madeline and Isla.

Stella followed Mac out into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"Do you still have the spare key to my apartment?" She asked.

Mac stuck his hand in his pocket and eventually pulled out his set of keys. He held on to the shiny silver key.

"Yeah of course; why?"

"Would you mind going back there to get a few things? And maybe check to see if the apartments ready for Isla to come home? I don't even think the crib has been made. We thought we had more time." Stella laughed, pushing her hair off of her forehead.

"No problem. Just write down what you want me to bring, I'll drop everything off here and then head back to yours. Is there anything else you need?" Mac asked, producing a small notepad and a pen from his jacket.

Stella scribbled down a list of things that they needed and handed Mac the notepad. Her mind quickly ran through everything that they had already bought, everything they still need and what was actually necessary.

"I don't think so. I'm not sure when we're going to get out of here." Stella sighed, looking back into the room. "It's all going to be okay, isn't it?"

"It's going to be okay." Mac smiled, pulling Stella into his arms. "Come on, let's go get a quick coffee, you look exhausted."

As they walked towards a coffee machine in the hallway, Mac's phone started to ring.

"Detective Taylor." Mac walked away from Stella, gesturing that he'd be back in a minute.

Stella anxiously paced the halls, wanting only to be back with Madeline and Isla. She couldn't wait to get the both of them home, though realistically she knew it was unlikely Isla would be going anywhere anytime soon. The Doctor had already said that she would need to be monitored closely. Mac was on the phone for 5 minutes before he walked back over to Stella.

"That was Flack, he's downstairs with the surgeon who operated on Alyssa." Mac had a grim look on his face.

"She didn't make it, did she?" Stella said quietly. Mac shook his head gravely. "Oh my God. I have to go and tell Madeline." Her brow creased, she ran her hand across her forehead.

Mac put his phone back in his pocket and rested his hand on Stella's shoulder. Make could feel the tension in her muscles. Today had been a tough day for her, and this wasn't making it any easier.

"Maybe wait till later to break the bad news."

"Yeah, you're probably right. She's going to blame herself for this." Stella shook her head. "Did you find out who did this?" She said hopefully.

"Flack's got a couple of suspects in custody. Madeline may have to make an ID but Danny thinks there is enough evidence without her."

"Good. That's...that's really good. I just don't want her to go through anymore more stress. She doesn't need it, not now." Stella sighed.

Mac bought two coffees from a machine in the hallway and handed Stella a cup. She took a big gulp of it and closed her eyes. Her heart felt heavy thinking about Alyssa. She couldn't help thinking that it could've easily been Madeline.

"Why can't anything ever just work out for her?" Stella said quietly.

She finished the coffee in no less than 3 gulps. It was awful, probably the worst coffee she'd ever had but it was keeping her awake.

"It will, Stella."

Stella nodded, but she didn't seem completely convinced.

"You don't think you can handle this, do you?" Mac questioned.

"Honestly? No. I don't think I can handle this Mac. I'm scared for her, for both of them. Seeing Madeline with Isla, it just...it just makes me wonder."

"Wonder what?"

"How could I ever have given her up?"

"Stella, don't. Don't do this to yourself again. You didn't have all the support that Madeline has. You know you can't change the choice you made in the past, but you can make up for it. Madeline might be an independent young lady, but she does need you."

"Yeah, I know." Stella brought her fingers to her mouth and bit her nails.

"Stop that." Mac laughed, he took hold of Stella's hand and kissed her fingers. "Let's get you back to your daughter. I'm going to head over to your place."

Stella smiled coyly and followed Mac down the corridor. She knew Mac was right, but the over-whelming feeling of guilt was washing over her again.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to TVCrimeDramaFANATIC who gave me the push to actually finish it. Hope you feel better sweetie!  
>Right now, I'm not entirely sure where I want this story to go, so from now on it's probably going to be shorter chapters, at least until I get an idea what's going on. I hope that's okay!<br>Enjoy! Please, review!x**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters. **_

_**Chapter Twenty One**_

When Mac left Stella, Madeline and Isla it was almost 6 in the evening and he had barely eaten all day. He stopped at the grocery store, picked up some dinner and headed back to Stella's apartment.

As he unlocked the door, he chuckled to himself at the sight of all the unpacked boxes lining the hallway. He walked through the apartment and checked what needed to be done. Mac knew how Stella liked things perfect, and he wanted to make sure that she wouldn't have to worry about unpacking when she got home, especially with a new baby around.

Mac walked in to the kitchen, dumped the grocery bags on the table and started unpacking. He checked through the cupboards to see that Stella had everything she would need, at least for the first week of bringing Isla home.

He left the kitchen and walked into the room directly across - Madeline's room. Piles of clean baby clothes sat on the bed; Mac picked them up and started putting them away, leaving a few out to take back to the hospital.

It took him little over an hour to get the whole apartment ready. He tided and cleaned everything, before finally settling down to eat something. The quiet of Stella's apartment felt unnerving after the chaos of the hospital. He couldn't believe that Stella was now not just a mother, but a grandmother too. She was so lucky to have Madeline and Isla in her life, and he was lucky to have them in his.

* * *

><p>At the hospital, Stella had finally managed to convince Madeline to get some sleep. Within minutes she had drifted into a deep sleep. Stella sat quietly on the chair next to the bed, smiling at her daughter. She fiddled with the silver ring on her finger and pulled at the small diamond charm hanging around her neck. Stella was completely lost in her thoughts when Isla started gurgling.<p>

Stella stood up and tip-toed over to the crib. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw the big, bright eyes looking up at her.

"Hello, beautiful girl!" Stella said tenderly.

She picked up Isla and held her close; she paced the floor with Isla in her arms, softly singing lullabies to her in Greek. Stella sat back down on the chair and cradled Isla. She gently stroked Isla's face with her cool fingers.

"Isla, you look so much like your mommy, sweetie." Stella grinned, kissing Isla repeatedly. "You're lucky you know, Isla. Your mommy loves you very much and I love you very much and Mac, Mac loves you too. We're always going to be here to protect you and care for you. I still think of your mommy as a baby. She'll always be my baby, but I have to face up to the fact that she's a grown up now. She's going to be a much better mother than I was, I can promise you that. I was alone and scared when she was born and I didn't want to fail her, because she deserved so much better than what I could give to her. And, even though she was scared when she found out you were on your way, she wasn't alone. She had me to help her, and I'm not going anywhere, baby. I love you. I love both of you." Stella quickly wiped away a tear from her cheek.

The whole time Stella was speaking, Isla kept her gaze on her, like she was completely entranced by the sound of her grandmother's voice. Stella rocked Madeline back and forth until she once again fell asleep. She carefully placed Isla back into the crib and sat back down, holding her head in her hands. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted by talking Isla, despite the fact that she couldn't understand a thing.

"I love you too, mum." Madeline croaked, her eyes slowly flickering open.

Stella made her way over to the other side of the bed, so she could sit comfortably next to Madeline. Carefully, she sat down and put her arm around her daughter. Madeline curled herself up against Stella and rested her head on her chest.

"You should go back to sleep." Stella ran her fingers through Madeline's hair.

"I know, but my belly hurts. My whole body hurts." Madeline complained, running her hand across the bandages covering her stomach.

"You want me to go get a nurse to give you some more pain medication?" Stella asked, already starting to stand up.

Madeline shook her head and held on to Stella's hand.

"No, it's okay. I'll be fine."

"You don't have to be a hero Madeline. If you're in pain, take the meds."

"I'm not mad at you, you know." Madeline said as she closed her eyes and nuzzled back into Stella. "I heard what you said to Isla. I really do understand why you gave me up. I'm not going anywhere either, by the way."

Stella tried to speak, but the words just caught in her throat. She took a deep breath and kissed the top of Madeline's head.

"You didn't fail me either. You were a better mother for giving me away. I know I had a go at you before, but I didn't mean it, promise." Madeline whispered through a yawn. "Are you crying?"

"Yes." Stella sniffed.

Madeline quietly laughed and lifted her arm up to wipe away the tears from Stella's cheek. As Madeline's hands passed her lips, Stella took hold of her hand and kissed it.

"Madeline, I, ah, need to tell you something that you're not going to want to hear."

Madeline lifted her head up and looked at Stella, confused.

"Honey, it's about Alyssa. She didn't make it through the surgery." Stella practically whispered the last part. "She lost too much blood, I'm so sorry Madeline."

Madeline let out a few painful sobs and gripped her arm securely around Stella's waist. Stella wrapped her arms tighter around her daughter, holding her closely, stroking the side of her face and wiping away her tears.

"It's not fair." Madeline choked.

"I know."

Soon, Stella could hear Madeline's breathing become heavy as she drifted to sleep and it wasn't long before Stella fell asleep too. A light knocking at the door woke her up, just as she was about to slip off of the bed.

"Mac!" She exclaimed.

Mac chuckled at his partner and walked over to the bed. He held out his hand and helped Stella stand up, being careful not to wake up Madeline or Isla. As she stood up, Stella misplaced her footing, her knee buckling underneath her. Mac caught her by her elbows and pulled her in close.

Unexpectedly, Stella began quietly weeping on Mac's shoulder, her hands covering her face. It took Mac by surprised, he held on to her. He let the bag he was carrying drop to the floor and slowly he led her out of the room.

A row of chairs lined the wall outside of Madeline's room. Carefully, he lowered Stella down on to one of the chairs, and sat himself down next to her. Stella wiped her eyes on the back of her hands and took a deep breath.

"Anyone would think that I'd just had a baby." Stella laughed through her tears. "Madeline was sleeping and I started talking to Isla about, about how Madeline was going to be such a great mother, and how awful I was. What the hell was I thinking giving her up? And, you know the worst part is, is that Madeline understands. She understands why I did it, and she's not mad at me."

"So these are happy tears?" Mac asked cautiously.

"I don't know. I feel like I deserve her to be angry at me. I know she used to be, but now she has a baby of her own it's different. When I decided to give her away, I never expected this to happen."

"No-one can predict the future Stella. You have two wonderful girls in there, who love you unconditionally." Mac stretched his arm around Stella's shoulder. "And we're all here for you. Everyone at the lab hasn't stopped talking about Madeline and Isla."

"Thank you, Mac - for everything." She planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

A small cry from the room behind them made them jump up out of their seats. Stella made a reach for the door handle, but Mac pulled her back before she could open it. He shook his head and pointed through the window.

"You gotta let her do this one Stell." Mac smiled.

"You're right." Stella nodded in agreement.

They watched as Madeline's eyes fluttered open. She sat up in bed and yawned. Madeline carefully eased herself up off of the bed and walked over to the crib where Isla was crying. Madeline picked Isla up and held her close.

"She's doing pretty well on her own." Mac noted.

"I know. I've got to let her do things for herself. As much as I want to, I can't do everything." Stella smiled as she watched Madeline sit back down on the bed.

"It's a learning process. For the both of you." Mac crossed his arms across his chest.

"I still can't believe I have a granddaughter. How crazy is that?"

"Yeah, you're so old." Mac chuckled.

The smart-ass comment earned him a soft punch on the arm from Stella.

"I'm not old, she's young. I'm young!" She laughed defensively.

"You're only as young as you feel Stell. You know, people are still shocked that you have a grown up daughter?"

"Honestly, I'm still shocked that I have a grown up daughter, and now a baby granddaughter. It feels so strange saying that. Isla's just going to have to call me Stella. Grandma sounds too old."

"Grandma works just fine." Mac laughed.

He pulled Stella into a hug, which she quickly fought her way out of. They watched Madeline sit with Isla.

"I suppose I should be proud of that title. I didn't have a grandmother, so I'll make sure as hell that Isla does." Stella quiet and frowned slightly. "Of course, I didn't really have a mother either..."

Mac held a finger up to her lips and shook his head. "Don't go there Stella. Please."


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone! I hope you're still enjoy the story, I've got some ideas in mind for it that I'm really looking forward to. So, if you are still enjoying the story, please, review and let me know. If no one is enjoying it, then I can happily finish the story.**

**Right now I'm also writing another story, Stay With Me Baby, which is Stella/Flack story so check it out!  
>x<strong>

**Disclaimer - I do not own CSI New York or any of it's characters. **

_**Chapter Twenty Two**_

It had been 3 months since Isla had been released from the hospital and finally everyone was settling into a comfortable routine. Madeline stayed home and looked after Isla, and Stella was back doing what she does best; catching killers.

A loud cry in the night made Stella jolt upright in bed. She wiped her forehead and took a deep breath. Carefully, she listened to the sounds outside of her bedroom door. She heard Isla's cries followed by Madeline's footsteps and her voice

"Looks like she's got this one covered." Stella thought to herself, laying her head back down on the pillow. She rubbed her eyes and pulled the bedcovers up to her chin. A small knock on the bedroom made Stella open up her eyes again.

"Come in." She answered wearily.

The door slowly opened and Madeline poked her head around the edge. She smiled warily, making sure that Stella really was awake. Madeline's curls were pulled up in a pony tail and she was wearing one of Stella's old NYPD polo shirts and shorts. She padded quietly across the floor, towards the bed. Stella smiled and pulled back the duvet. Madeline lay down close to Stella and covered herself in the duvet.

"Your feet are cold." Stella complained, flinching away from Madeline's toes that were edging closer to Stella's calves.

"Yeah, I know."

"If you know, then why are they still touching my legs?"

"Your legs are warm. I like it." Madeline giggled quietly. She twirled one of Stella's curls around her fingers. "Are you working in the morning?"

"Yeah" Stella yawned. She looked at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. "In six hours."

"Oh, sorry, I'll go." Madeline whispered, pulling back the bed covers.

"No it's fine. You can stay sweetie. Was it Isla that woke you up?" Stella asked, turning herself over so she could look at Madeline. The room was dark but Stella could still the look of anxiousness on her face. She raised her arm and stroked Madeline's forehead, pushing her back.

"I was already awake. I couldn't sleep." Madeline said despondently.

"What's on your mind?" Stella lifted her upper body and rested her head on her head. Her forehead furrowed with concern.

"Nothing" Madeline shrugged.

"Madeline, did you forget that I'm a detective? And your mother. I can see it in your eyes. What's bothering you?"

"I don't know. I guess I just don't want to mess everything up. Am I doing a good job? You'd tell me if I did something wrong, right?" Madeline stared up at the ceiling. The worry was clear on her face.

"Yes, I promise." Stella smiled. "But you're not, you're doing so well and I am so proud of you."

"She just cries so much. I feel like it's my fault, because I'm doing something wrong"

"Madeline, she's a baby. That's kinda what babies do." Stella comforted Madeline. She stroked the Madeline cheek with the back of her hand.

"Honey, you're doing a wonderful job. You're doing so well. Isla is happy and healthy. As a parent, that's, that's all you really want."

"But you'd tell me otherwise, right?"

"I would never tell you that you were raising your daughter wrong, Madeline, but I'm always going to be here to help guide you in the right direction."

Madeline shifted her body so that she was cuddled up to Stella. She held on to Stella's fingers and closer her eyes. The soft sound of Madeline breathing deeply soon filled the room as she fell back to sleep, a weight lifted off of her chest. Stella shortly followed and the two of them lay close in Stella's bed.

A mix of the alarm clock and Isla screaming eventually tore them both from a restful few hours of sleep. Stella clicked the alarm off and nudged Madeline to get her out of bed. If it was hard to get up in the morning before Isla came along, it was nearly impossible now. She would need lots of strong coffee to get through the day.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"You look awful Bonasera." Danny laughed as he dropped a load of paper and a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Don't make me hit you Messer." She glared and threw a pen in his direction. "You remember what it's like to live with a 3 month old. I'm tired and I'm cranky."

"Ah c'mon Stella, you're gunna be fine. Isla will start sleeping soon."

"I hope so. I feel like I haven't slept properly since she was born. A couple nights ago she woke up almost every hour. It's excruciating."

"Yeah, you don't have to tell me about sleepless nights."

"I'm considering sound-proofing my room. My respect for Lindsay has gone up tenfold. How she managed to do this I will never know."

Stella rested her head in her hands and yawned. She closed her heavy eyes for a brief minute.

"Keeping you up, are we Stella?" Mac said, dropping her jacket on the desk in front of her.

"What? Oh, no sorry" She wiped underneath her eyes and drunk some of her coffee. "Are we going somewhere?"

"That print you found on the victims earring came back to an Olivia Taylor. She worked with the victim. Let's go pay her a visit."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stella was running on caffeine for the rest of the day. After picking up Olivia from work and interrogating her with Mac, she had spent the majority of the afternoon on her feet at the lab.

"Free for dinner tonight? We haven't been out for a while. It's my treat" Mac said as he walked into Stella's office.

"Uh, yeah, let me just call Madeline. I'll be ready in 15." Stella smiled.

Mac nodded and left her office. Stella picked up her phone and dialled in her home number. She twirled her hair around her finger as she waited for the call to connect.

"Hello?" Madeline answered.

"Hey honey, it's me."

"Hi mum, is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's fine. I was going to go out for dinner, are you going to be okay without me?" Stella asked.

"I'm not 10 you know. I'll be fine. Is your boyfriend taking you out?" Madeline teased.

"What!" Stella exclaimed. "There is no boyfriend. Mac's taking me."

"Oh so your boyfriend then"

"You're funny. I'll see you tonight."

"Love you mum."

"Love you too." Stella hung up the phone and smiled, thinking about her daughter.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Within 20 minutes, Mac and Stella were sat in a small Thai restaurant ordering dinner. It was a relatively new place and not a lot of people knew about it, so they had no trouble getting a table for two.

"Cheers." Mac said, clinking glasses with Stella.

"It's been a while." Stella inhaled the sweet scent on the Rosé wine and took a sip.

"So, how are the girls?" Mac asked, bringing his own drink up to his mouth.

"Tired hopefully, I could really use a full night's sleep. But, they're wonderful. I am very lucky" Stella smiled warmly.

"Yes, you are. How's Madeline taking to parenthood?"

Stella took another drink of her wine and thought carefully about her answer. How was Madeline really taking to parenthood? Madeline seemed to be blossoming in her new role, but Stella couldn't shake the feeling of worry that Madeline had displayed last night.

"She came into my room at 3am last night after Isla woke up; she had this look on her face. I could tell she had something on her mind. She wanted to know if she was doing a good job."

The waitress placed their dinners in front of them and topped up their wine glasses. They were quiet for a few minutes while they made a start on the food.

"That seems like a rational question." Mac reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess. But she thought that every time Isla cried, it was her fault. I think it's just taking some getting used to. There are only so many times I can reassure, if she doesn't feel she's doing good, she's never going to believe it."

"She will, Stella."

It was nearly 11 o'clock by the time they left the restaurant. The streets of New York were filled with people. It wasn't far to Stella's apartment so Mac walked her home. He kept his arm around her waist protectively.

"Thanks for this Mac." Stella smiled affectionately. Mac pulled her in to a hug and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you in the morning." Mac said, watching Stella walk up the stairs.

As Stella made her way up to the apartment door, she noticed that the light was still on. She could hear Isla crying. There had only been a couple of nights that Madeline had been left to look after Isla alone and Stella started to worry. She unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"Madeline?" Stella called out.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters.**

_**Chapter Twenty Three**_

Stella dropped her keys, coat and bag on the floor in the hallway. The door clicked shut behind her. She stuck her head in her bedroom door, but it was empty. The next room along was Madeline's. Stella walked in to see Isla lying in her crib, kicking her legs and crying.

"Hey baby, where's mommy?" Stella said gently as she scooped Isla out of her bed.

She rested Isla's head on her shoulder and rubbed her back. Isla stopped crying almost instantly. She started cooing quietly, lifting her little hand up to Stella's mouth. Stella kissed her fingers and rocked her gently.

"That's better, isn't it? C'mon lets go find mommy." Stella picked up Isla's blanket out of the crib and carefully draped it over the baby.

Stella walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Her heart sunk at the sight she saw. Madeline was sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked up to her chin. Her hair hung limply around her face and she was incredibly pale. She didn't say a word, she barely even blinked. The TV was turned off; she was just staring into the empty space. Her eyes were focused but on nothing.

"Madeline." Stella uttered.

Stella put Isla down in the bouncer that was next to the couch. She sat down next to Madeline and pulled her in close. For a while, Madeline's body was rigid. Stella could feel the rise and fall of her breathing but her limbs stayed still. Isla started fidgeting and crying again. Stella waited for Madeline to move to get her, but she didn't. Stella pulled her phone out of her pocket, pulled up Mac's number and started typing out a message.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mac was in a grocery just down the street from Stella's apartment when his phone started beeping. He took it out of his pocket and started reading.

'Need your help. Let yourself in.' was all it said.

Mac dropped his basket on the floor and ran out of the store. He ran straight to Stella's building and didn't stop running until he was outside Stella's door. He threw open the door and walked quickly into the living room.

"Stella?" He called out.

Stella smiled when she saw him. Mac stood in the doorway

"What's wrong?" He mouthed silently.

She gestured her head in the direction of Isla who was still crying in the bouncer. Mac nodded knowingly. He crouched down in front of the bouncer.

"Hey princess" He smiled, scooping Isla up out of the chair. "Let's go put you to bed, okay?" He walked out of the room, giving Madeline and Stella the time they needed.

"I couldn't get her to stop crying." Madeline stated plainly. "It was too much."

Stella kissed the side of Madeline's head and rocked her slowly. It made her feel sick to see her daughter like this. She felt so guilty for having such a nice evening; all the while Madeline was sat here alone and struggling to cope.

"I'm sorry." Stella whispered.

"Why?" Madeline's voice was almost completely unwavering.

"I shouldn't have left you, when I knew something was wrong." Stella said apologetically.

"I just want to be a good mum for her and I'm not."

"Oh but Madeline you are! You're a great mom. Listen, tomorrow I'm going to talk to one of the counsellors at work and..." Stella trailed off.

Madeline started shaking her head quickly in protest. She began to move away from Stella but Stella kept her grip tight, holding her still.

"No, no mum I'm not crazy. I just got stressed. I don't need a counsellor. No way."

"If you won't let someone else help you, you need to help yourself."

Tears started falling down Madeline's face, but her face stayed stony and unmoving. She started shivering. Stella pulled a blanket from the back of the sofa and wrapped it around herself and Madeline.

"I love her." Madeline said, her voice shaking.

"I know you do. And I know you want do everything perfect for her. So don't you think you owe it to her to make sure you're okay too?" Stella soothed.

Madeline wrapped her arm around Stella's neck and started bawling. Her body was shaking and her voice came out as strangled sobs. Stella held on to Madeline and kissed the top of her head repeatedly.

"It's okay sweetie." Stella whispered.

"It's not okay. I'm so scared."

"What are you scared of Madeline? Tell me so I can help you. Please." Stella begged. All she wanted to do was help.

Madeline took a few minutes to steady her breathing and gather her thoughts.

"I'm responsible for another person. I have to look after her and protect her. And I really want to but I don't think I can."

"You have to protect her, and I have to protect the both of you. I know that you can protect her; you just need to believe in yourself. I'm here to help you Madeline. And more importantly, I want to help you. But I can't do that unless you let me."

Madeline nodded slowly. Stella wiped the tears off of her daughter's cheeks. They sat there together for a while, until they heard Mac moving around in the kitchen.

"C'mon, you should get some sleep." Stella stood up and helped Madeline off of the couch.

Stella watched Madeline go into the bathroom and start getting ready.

"Is she alright?" Mac said behind her. It made her jump.

"She will be. If she doesn't want help, she just needs time. Did Isla go down okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. Look, are you going to be okay Stell?" Mac asked, concerned.

"If they're okay then so am I." Stella smiled warmly.

"Good." Mac kissed her forehead. "Now, if I'm done babysitting, I'm going to take off." He winked and laughed, picking up his jacket.

"Thank you, Mac. I really appreciate it."

Stella let Mac out of the apartment and locked the door behind him. She leant back against the door, absolutely exhausted. Her eyes shut voluntarily. Was she to blame for all of this? If she'd been there more at the start, would any of this have happened? Stella shook her head. She couldn't blame herself for this. That wasn't going to help anyone. If anything it would just make things worse.

"Mum?" Madeline asked, looking confused. "What are you doing? You looked like you were sleeping standing up."

"What?" Stella looked up, startled. "Oh no, I wasn't sleeping. I'll see you in the morning. I love you." Stella hugged Madeline and kissed her goodnight.

Stella walked into the kitchen and switched the kettle on and settled down on one of the kitchen chairs. She decided that, regardless of what Madeline said, she was still going to talk to one of the counsellors at work. Madeline wouldn't actually have to go but Stella needed advice. She poured herself a mug of green tea and walked quietly into her bedroom. She carefully placed the mug down and dropped herself down on to the mattress. She didn't even feel like getting changed. Stella had barely drunk any of her tea before she slipped into a really deep sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm very sad to say that this is the last official chapter of Stella's Girl! I think I am going to write a little epilogue though. I've had such a great time writing this and I'm sad to see it end but it's reached that point where I can't really go any further. Thank you so much for sticking with me through it!  
>B x<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI New York or any of its characters.**

_**Chapter Twenty Four**_

Mac sat in his office and watched as the elevator doors opened up. Madeline stepped out, closely followed by Stella who was pushing Isla in a stroller. They walked together towards Stella's office. Madeline was fidgeting, pulling at the ends of her hair and twiddling her thumbs. He saw as a department counsellor stood up from one of the chairs in Stella's office. They all shook hands and stood talking for a short while; the whole thing seeming incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Mac noticed how Madeline wouldn't look anyone in the eyes; she just stared at the floor. The counsellor and Madeline left the office, and walked back towards the elevator, leaving Stella and Isla behind.

Isla giggled happily in her stroller while Stella worked away. When Isla began to get grizzly, Stella scooped her up and held her on her lap, working around her. Mac got up and strode into her office.

"You know, I don't usually approve of personal life coming into the lab." He said sternly. "But in this case, I'll gladly make an exception." He finished, breaking out into a smile.

"I didn't really see the point of getting a sitter for an hour. Besides, I thought she'd make a great mascot for my desk." Stella laughed, kissing the top of Isla's head.

"Madeline agreed to talk to someone then?" Mac pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Yeah, she really doesn't want to but she's smart, she knows it's for the best."

"Good."

"It makes me feel better just knowing she's gone, even if it's only the once." Stella bounced Isla up and down on her knee. "I mean, obviously I'd rather she would talk to me, but as long as she's talking to someone."

"Well, it's a big adjustment for the both of you. Are you sure you don't need to talk to someone?"

"Thanks Mac, but as long as the girls are both okay, then so am I." She said reassuringly. "Hand me that diaper bag?"

Stella took the bag off of Mac and pulled out a pink bib and a bottle. At first she tried to juggle feeding Isla and typing up case notes, but eventually she gave up with the work. It could wait until Madeline came back.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The counsellor's office was unbearably cold. The constant ticking sound of the clock was the only noise in the room. The office wasn't as fancy as she had pictured but it was still just as intimidating.

Madeline sat on the dark leather chair, her hands, trembling, were placed in her lap. She nervously pulled apart a damp tissue, turning it over and over in her hands. Her eyes remained focused on a scuff on the floor. She could feel the therapist's eyes boring into her. It was uncomfortable and unsettling. Madeline brought the chain from around her neck and put it between her teeth, pulling it back and forth. The therapist had barely said anything to her, yet Madeline was overcome with the urge to spill her heart out. She just wanted to say anything to fill the awful silence.

"My mother is practically perfect. If I can't get Isla to stop crying, she can." Madeline whispered through her tears. "I feel like I've let her down."

"And why do you think that?" The therapist asked in calming voice.

Madeline shrugged and wiped her eyes again. She didn't know what to say. The thoughts swam around in her head, desperate to get out. Deep down she knew it was irrational but the feeling just kept eating at her. Stella had always told Madeline how great she was doing and how proud she was. Madeline just struggled to actually believe it.

"I don't know. I just, it feels like I have so much to live up to. And I don't know how to do it. I love my mother; I just want her to be proud of me."

"How do you know she's not?"

"I...I guess I don't." Madeline frowned and rubbed her forehead.

A beeping sound made Madeline jump out of her skin.

"Madeline, I'm afraid the session is over." The therapist began to speak.

Madeline jumped up out of her chair at lightning speed. She started walking towards the door. She had to get out of there.

"Here's my card, if you want to arrange another session, just give me a call." The therapist smiled warmly, handing Madeline the small white rectangle.

She nodded and took hold of the card. As the therapist shut her office door, Madeline opened up her hand and let it fall to the floor. It was going to be a long walk, but she took the stairs up to the crime lab. The whole way up, she didn't run into anyone and she was able to clear her head. Madeline sat herself down on one of the stairs, two floors away from the crime lab. Her head rested against the cool concrete wall and she closed her eyes.

She may not have said much to the therapist but the session had definitely made her think. She was a good mother. She could see that now. It was like the clouds had lifted and she could see the sun. Madeline loved her daughter, and she would do anything for her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Isla lay snoozing in her stroller, finally giving Stella time to get some work done. It was incredibly quiet in her office. She even slowed down her typing so that she barely made a sound. When the phone started ringing, she nearly tore it off holder in her hast to answer it quickly. She waited for a minute before she said anything; her eyes were focused on Isla, who, thankfully, didn't even stir.

"Bonasera" She answered quietly.

"Hi, Stella, listen, I gave Madeline my card after the session ended and told her she could call to book another one. I just found the card on the floor outside my door. Please, just make sure she knows the offer still stands." The therapists said.

"The session ended? When?" Stella asked confused, she checked her watch.

"About 20 minutes ago."

"Oh. Okay, well I'll let her know, thanks." Stella pressed the end call button and hurriedly dialled in Madeline's cell phone number. She tapped her fingers on the desk and the phone continued to ring.

"Hey mum." Madeline whispered down the phone.

"Madeline, where are you? Did you get lost?" The tone of worry was clear.

"I'm fine. I just needed a minute. I'm on my way down."

Stella heard Madeline's footsteps just before she hung up the phone. She put the phone down and carried on typing, glancing up at the elevator doors every few seconds. Eventually Madeline made her way back to the office. Stella got up out of her desk chair and walked around to the other side, sitting down on the edge.

"How'd it go?" Stella asked eagerly.

"I'm not going back." Madeline replied stubbornly. "But it was fine."

"Why aren't you going back?"

"Have you ever been to one of those things?" Madeline raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Madeline was slightly taken aback by Stella's response.

"Then you know how uncomfortable they are. I'm not going. I didn't have anything to say to her. I didn't really want to say anything."

"Well, I can't make you go back, but please, promise me you won't disregard it completely?" Stella took hold of Madeline's hands.

Madeline nodded and let herself be pulled in to a hug. Stella kissed Madeline's forehead and held her tightly.

"I promise" Madeline said, her voice muffled. "It will be okay though. That's why I took so long getting back down here. I was thinking."

"Yeah? What were you thinking?" Stella asked, stroking the side of Madeline's face.

"You're proud of me, right?" Madeline looked up at Stella.

"Of course! Why would you even ask that?" Stella looked almost hurt by the question.

"I was just checking." Madeline smiled, shrugging her shoulders.

"I love you." Stella said quietly.

"I love you too." Madeline replied, kissing Stella on the cheek.

From inside her stroller, Isla started making noise, calling out for attention. They both laughed at the sight of Isla shaking her arms around. Stella picked her up out of the stroller and kissed her nose. She handed her to Madeline. Madeline's eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across her face.

"Are you gunna stick around for a while? I finish for lunch in an hour; we'll go get a bite to eat." Stella asked, walking around the other side of her desk.

"Take an early lunch." Mac smiled as he walked into Stella's office, his coat in his hand. "C'mon, it's my treat."

"Thanks Mac." Madeline smiled gratefully. "I'm just going to change Isla first."

Madeline picked up the diaper bag and hugged Mac and Stella before leaving the office with Isla in her arms.

"Is she okay? Mac asked smiling and putting his arms into his coat sleeves.

"Uh, yeah, I think so. It's kinda hard to tell with her." Stella shrugged, switching off her computer.

Stella picked up her jacket from the back of her chair and put it on. She grabbed her purse from the floor and slung it over her shoulder.

"Just like her mother." Mac laughed. He took hold of the stroller and started leaving the room.

Stella laughed back and punched him softly on the arm. Mac put his arm around Stella's waist and they walked out of her office, towards the elevators.

"We're gunna just fine." Stella smiled. She felt truly happy.


	25. Chapter 25  Epilogue

**A/N: Hey guys! So I decided to write the epilogue, set slightly into the future, just to show how they're all living now. I'm really sad to be finishing the story, so I'm not ruling out writing a sequel or something, because I love writing these characters. Anyway, thank you for sticking around for the story and thank you for all the reviews, I really appreciate it!  
>Bx<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Twenty Five - Epilogue<strong>_

"Did you pick up the cake?"

"It's in the fridge."

"And the streamers?"

"They're in the cupboard in the living room."

"What about the balloons?"

"They're on the kitchen counter."

"And did you get the..."

"Madeline, relax, I got everything on the list. You just need to look for them." Stella laughed, interrupting her daughter. "Listen, I'm going to go get Isla from day care, and then I'm taking her out for a little while. We won't be gone long. Love you."

"Thanks mum, love you too." Madeline replied, hanging up the phone.

Stella dropped the phone into her jacket pocket and unlocked her car. It was the day before Isla's 2nd birthday and Madeline was tearing her hair out trying to make sure that everything was perfect. Stella had volunteered to pick Isla up from day care so Madeline had a chance to decorate the apartment and wrap the last presents.

The two years had flown by. Stella could hardly believe that her granddaughter was about to turn two. Isla was already walking around, starting to talk and getting into everything. Stella loved work, but she couldn't wait to get home and see her girls.

Madeline had really turned things around. She did decide to go back to the counsellor a few times and now she felt confident enough to accept the fact that she could be a good mother. For a while, Stella was anxious about leaving Madeline and Isla at home, but after a few months she could see how comfortable Madeline was to do it all by herself.

She pulled her car up outside of the day care and walked quickly into the building. When she got inside one of the workers brought Isla down to the front desk. As soon as she laid eyes on Stella, Isla's eyes widened and a huge smile spread across her face. She held her little arms out in Stella's direction.

Stella strapped Isla into her car seat and covered her rosy cheeks in kisses. Within 30 minutes they were sitting outside a little coffee shop, in the sun. Stella took a sip of her cappuccino and broke off a chunk of blueberry muffin and handed it to Isla.

"Is that good Isla?" She asked laughing.

Isla looked up at her and giggled, crumbs were all over her face. She licked her lips and held out her hand for more cake. Stella shook her head and grinned, handing her another small piece. They sat quietly for a while, enjoying the sun, coffee and cake.

"We better get you cleaned up, Mac will be here soon and we can't have him seeing you like that, baby." She laughed at Isla's grubby face.

She lifted Isla out of the high chair and sat her on her knee. Stella pulled a damp wash cloth out of the diaper bag and brought it up to Isla's face. Isla squirmed and tried to wriggle out of Stella's lap. She used her little hands to try and push the cloth away.

"Stay still missy. We need to clean you." Stella insisted, holding on tight to Isla. "Hey, c;mon, Mac won't give you cuddles if you have muffin all over your face!"

At the mention of Mac's name and the threat of no cuddles, Isla froze. She let Stella wipe her face and hands. Stella dropped the wash cloth back into a plastic bag and put it into one of the diaper bag's pockets.

"See, much better." Stella smiled, planting a kiss on Isla's cheek. "Oh and just in time, look who's here." She whispered into Isla's ear.

Stella readjusted Isla's position on her lap so that she could see who was coming towards them. A smiled spread across Isla's face and she reached out both of her arms as Mac walked towards them.

Mac leant down and kissed Stella, stroking the side of her face. He picked Isla up and held her high in the air before bring her down and kissing the top of her head.

"We're missing one?" He stated, sitting himself down on one of the chairs next to Stella.

"She's at home, decorating the apartment. I figured it would be best to keep Isla out the way. When I tried to decorate for Madeline's birthday, she managed to tear up half the banners." Stella smiled, tapping Isla on the nose.

"Is that right?" Mac laughed. He stood Isla up on his lap.

Stella finished up her coffee and wiped Isla's face with a napkin. She put on her jacket and picked up the diaper bag, Mac carried Isla and together they left the café.

"So, what's the plan for tonight? Yours or mine?" Stella asked.

"Neither." Mac said bluntly. Stella took a step back, shocked.

"Excuse me?"

"That was fun." He whispered in Isla's ear. Isla laughed and threw her hands over her mouth. "What I meant was, neither, because I'm taking you out for dinner instead."

Stella shook her head and playfully punched Mac on the shoulder. Isla reached her arms out in Stella's direction. Stella took her off Mac and hugged her tightly. They all walked up to Stella's car.

"Sit still sweetie, let me buckle you in." Stella sighed as she tried to wrestle Isla into the car seat.

"I'll pick you up at 8 then?" Mac said, leaning on the car door.

"That would be perfect." She smiled coyly.

Mac lifted his arm up and brushed the curls out of her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. Her cheeks flushed pink and she looked at the floor. He kissed her gently and opened the car door for her.

"I'll, um, see you tonight then." Stella blushed again and got into her car.

Stella barely gave herself time to think, she just buckled up and drove off. It still wasn't an official relationship; nobody knew about it, but it was new and exciting. She actually got butterflies whenever she saw him. Soon enough, Stella pulled the car into the parking spot and cut the engine. She laughed quietly to herself as she looked into the backseat, only to find Isla fast asleep.

"It's a tough life." She sighed, carefully opening the car door on Isla's side.

She gingerly unclipped the car seat belt and lifted Isla out; doing everything she could not to wake the sleeping child. She rested Isla's head on her left shoulder and slung the bag over her right. Isla moved slightly, her thumb dropped from her mouth. Stella shook her head and carried Isla up into the apartment building.

"Ta da!" Madeline called out as she saw Stella walk in.

"Shh, just a second." Stella gestured towards Isla.

She dumped the bags on the floor and carried Isla into the bedroom. Stella kissed her carefully laid her down in her crib. Isla shifted as she was out of Stella's arms. Stella tip-toed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

"Wow! This looks great Madeline! You found everything then?" She asked, dropping herself on to the couch.

"Yep, I'm pretty proud of it." She grinned, sitting down next to Stella. She swung her legs up on to Stella's lap and closing her eyes.

"You should be, you done a great job. Did you get all the presents wrapped?" Stella pulled at the loose threads surrounding the holes in Madeline's jeans.

"They're in the wardrobe." Madeline nodded. "Do you want me to start making dinner?"

"Uh, no actually, I'm going out for dinner tonight." Stella smiled, butterflies filling her stomach again.

Madeline opened an eyelid and studied Stella's face. Her cheeks were pink, she had a huge smile on her face and her eyes were completely lit up.

"No prizes for guessing who with." Madeline smirked, closing her eyes again.

"Shut up." She laughed, leaning her head against the back of the sofa.

"I'm happy for you, mum." Madeline moved her hand so she was holding on to Stella's.

"Really?" Stella asked, turning her head.

"Yeah, really, I like Mac. It's about time you two got together."

"What?" Stella raised an eyebrow, shocked.

"C'mon, you can't tell me you've seriously never considered it before?" Madeline opened up her eyes.

"Considered what?" Stella poked Madeline's leg.

Madeline took a moment to answer. She shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes again.

"Sleeping with Mac." Madeline laughed.

"Madeline! I cannot believe you just said that!" Stella sat there completely dumbstruck, and for once in her life, completely speechless.

"I'm going to go start dinner." Madeline laughed lifting her legs off of Stella. "You should go get ready for your hot date."

Madeline walked off into the kitchen, kissing Stella's cheek before she left and laughing at her own joke. Stella got up off the couch and went into the bathroom. She switched on the taps and drizzled in some Mango-scented bubble bath.

"Don't forget to shave your legs!" Madeline called out from the kitchen. Stella could practically hear the smile on Madeline's face.

The bath was run in quick enough time and Stella lit the candles sat around the edge of it. She slipped out of her work clothes and climbed into the tub. The hot water surrounded her and she closed her eyes. With all the hurt she saw at work every day, she knew that life wasn't always easy and it wasn't always perfect, but right now, with her daughter happily making dinner and her granddaughter peacefully sleeping, she knew that this was pretty damn close.


End file.
